Learning How to Love
by Lletya
Summary: Edward Cullen lives in his own universe, created by lies and exaggerations. He pushes people away despite yearning for their closeness. And he doesn't really understand why he acts the way that he does. As he gets to know Jasper Whitlock, Edward realizes that he'll lose Jasper to his false universe unless he changes his ways.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Just something I came up with. Hope it's not too bad :)**

**I own nothing Twilight related.**

**EPOV**

Monday. Worst fucking day of the week. And this isn't just any Monday. Oh no. This Monday just happens to be the first day of my first semester in college. Well, a community college anyway. My parents convinced me that it would be better to get my basics out of the way here and save money before transferring to a four year university.

I chuckle to myself. _Yeah, that's definitely why I agreed to go here. It definitely doesn't have anything to do with the fact that I'm completely unmotivated and don't really give a shit what school I do or don't go to._

I'm a funny person that way. I know exactly what my shortcomings are; I can point them out better than anyone. But, whether by choice or otherwise, I simply refuse to take any action on them.

As I walk up to the front door of this building where I would now be spending the majority of my time, I frown before opening the door. I examine at my reflection in the glass and am less than pleased with what I see.

My bronze hair absolutely refuses to stay where I want it to, choosing instead to do whatever the hell it wants. The black button down shirt that I thought looked perfect this morning now made me want to rush home and change.

I'm not built like those bodybuilders you see on TV that get all sorts of steroids and shit, but I'm not some skinny twig either. In fact, I'm rather happy with my muscular-but-not-too-muscular build.

My opinion on myself would probably change in the next 5 minutes.

The jeans that I thought hugged all the right places now look like they are 3 sizes too big. What the hell was I doing this morning?

_Sigh. I hate my life._

I silently tried to convince myself that my past gave me an excuse to hate myself, that I was entitled to being able to hate myself. But like most other things, I knew that wasn't true, and that I was just making things up to make myself feel better.

I didn't have a perfect childhood, but let's be honest, who does? I had a tendency to exaggerate even the most unimportant details of my life, trying to elicit some sort of response from those around me.

_Heh. And I wonder why I don't have any friends? No one wants to hang out with me when they don't know if they can trust the next thing that comes out of my mouth._

"Hey, you gonna go inside or just stare at yourself all day?"

I was torn from my musings by the rude voice of some guy behind me. Well okay, the voice wasn't really rude, but I convinced myself that it was because I don't like being interrupted while I'm thinking. Or doing anything for that matter. See? I lie about anything and everything, even to myself.

I turn around to see the jerk who ever so rudely interrupted me from the clearly all-important and life changing epiphany I was experiencing. And as I saw him, I grew very irritated very quickly.

He's a pretty attractive guy, slightly taller than me, with a smirk on his face that makes me want to punch him right then and there. One thing about him stands out immediately though.

He's big.

Not I-would-eat-you-if-you-looked-like-cake big, but I-work-out-28-hours-a-day-big. The fact that I find him attractive at all makes me angry. Why? Who the hell knows. I don't even know.

"I'm sorry, is there something special about this door?" I ask, gesturing over to the other 3 doors on the wall. Honestly, it's like some people are just out to bug you.

He holds up his hands in defeat. "Sorry man, I just thought it was funny. I've never seen someone stare at a door for that long before."

I turn around, now furious for reasons still beyond my comprehension, and walk inside. He follows me, still trying to apologize, both of us knowing full well he had absolutely nothing to apologize for.

"Look…" I turn to him. "I don't know who you are and at this point I don't really care, so I don't need you following me around apologizing to me."

"Dude, would you chill out? Name's Emmett." He sticks out his hand.

"I'm sure you're so proud of yourself." I sneer and walk up the stairs to where my first class was supposed to be. I could've sworn I hear him mutter "What the fuck?" as I just left him standing there.

I find my classroom with only one other person in it. I quickly walk to the back row and sit down, trying to get a grip on my emotions.

I actually lied earlier. I know exactly why he made me so angry.

It's because I found him even slightly attractive. So yeah, I'm gay. But it's a part of me I never really embraced. I mean, I don't deny that I am, to myself anyway. But I just don't feel like its normal. It's easier to just pretend that part of me doesn't exist. So I get a little irritated with myself whenever I find a guy attractive, and even more so when said guy tries to interact with me in any way.

_Sigh. What the fuck do I want anyway? I want a boyfriend so bad… but that's not something I'm willing to even admit to myself half the time. And whenever a half-decent looking guy so much as talks to me, I'm ready to yell at him like there's no tomorrow._

As I'm lost in thought, a now familiar voice once again interrupts my alone time.

"Well that wasn't very nice of you." He says as he sticks out his hand. "Let's try this again. I'm Emmett."

I stare at him in complete and utter disbelief. "Did you seriously just follow me into the classroom to say that?"

"Well no, not really. This is my first class too." I swear, the grin on his face made him look like some sort of creepy pedophile. I was so close to telling him that but then decided against it. I already feel like a good person.

I groan, rather loudly, and the girl that was sitting on the other side of the room giggles.

"Damn, she's cute dontcha think?" He says quietly, nudging me from the seat he appeared to have claimed next to mine.

I groan again, rather loudly this time, hoping he would get the hint and just get the fuck away from me. I lay my head down on the table and start to curse life, the universe, and whatever else I could think of.

Emmett continued girl-watching as the classroom started filling up. After about the seventh nudge, I glare up at him, but now he's completely entranced by the girl who just walked in. I follow his line of sight and saw what I guess was an attractive girl.

She looks like she came straight from some sort of beauty queen pageant. Her blond hair falls perfectly over her shoulders as she walks toward the seat next to Emmett like she owns the place.

She sits down and seductively flips her hair and now I'm actually relieved. Emmett would have something to take his mind off of me.

The professor, an old woman in her 100s or something walks in and pulls out a clipboard from her purse. That bag was so big I half expected her to pull out a couple more purses before she actually found what she was looking for. She starts calling attendance and I immediately put my head back down. Fuck, they still do that in college?

"Edward Cullen?" the lady calls "Yeah" I answer.

"So that's your name! I don't think I've met anyone named Edward before."

I give Emmett by best attempt at a glare before I realize I don't care enough.

"Rosalie Hale?"

"Heeeeeere," answers the blond bimbo sitting next to Emmett.

_Well that's a stupid name. Then again, so is mine. Sigh._

"Emmett McCarty?"

"Heeeeeere," he practically yells while glancing at Rosalie. She giggles but doesn't turn to look at him.

_Kill me now._

Once the old woman finishes checking attendance, which I swear must have taken half the class, she goes on to lecture us about the importance of public speaking, and it's only at that point that I remember that this was Speech class.

Once class it over, I figure it would be polite to at least say something to Emmett before leaving. But as I turn to look at him, he's already leaving behind Rosalie like she has him on a fucking leash.

Thankful that I didn't have to force myself to talk to the guy, I walk over to my next and last class for the day. Gotta love college and its weird class schedules.

I walk inside the relatively empty classroom and sit in the seat against the wall in the last row.

The classroom fills up, and a man wearing a full blown suit walks in, making sure that everyone within a one hundred mile radius is aware of his authority.

Since my name comes pretty early on the list, I put my head down on the table after answering to my name and waited for him to finish.

"Mr. Cullen?" I look up as I hear my name being called. "If you would be so kind as to sleep at home and not in my classroom, it would be greatly appreciated." His tone was practically dripping with sarcasm.

Despite the overwhelming urge to crawl under my table and stay there, I just kept my head up as a few people in the class tried to stifle their laughter. Yeah, I'm that easily embarrassed.

I look around my side of the classroom and I'm not particularly interested in anything or anyone I saw. Fighting the urge to drop my head back to the table was proving difficult.

"Jasper Whitlock?" the professor called.

"Here"

And at that moment my head nearly jerks up to see who it was that answered.

Never before have I heard such a beautiful voice in my life, and the guy had only said one word.

I follow the professor's line of sight to the most gorgeous man I have ever laid my eyes upon.

His vibrant blue eyes look back at the professor while his short-ish blonde hair curls at the end, partially obscuring his face. He seems to twitch for a moment, then turns ever so slightly and gives me the full view I'm yearning for.

He's…. perfect.

There really isn't any other word I can use to describe this absolutely beautiful creature. His tan skin makes his blue eyes look even brighter than I had first thought they were. He looks like he belongs on a beach in California somewhere, not in the eternally dark city known as Forks.

As if he can sense my incessant staring, he glances over to me quickly before turning back to face the front of the class.

But that was enough.

In that fraction of a second that our eyes met, I was gone. Long gone into the eyes of Jasper Whitlock.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I don't really have a planned schedule for when I'll be releasing new chapters, but I'll get them out when I can. The more you guys like what I write, the more motivated I'll be to write! :)**

**There won't be a whole lot of dialogue in this chapter. This is more of an introduction to Edward's mind with some insight to the inner workings of his universe. He's definitely a strange person, and even he doesn't understand himself sometimes.**

**I own nothing, as usual.**

**EPOV**

Seconds, minutes, hours, days. I'm not sure how much time passes by as I continue to stare in that golden haired boy's direction, but it doesn't matter.

I'm in love.

Well, not really. Every time I see a guy that I think is more attractive than usual, I immediately feel like I'm in love with the guy. Every time, I'll convince myself that there is something different about that particular one, while knowing full well it's the exact same thing.

I'm pulled back into reality as our obnoxious professor starts handing out the class syllabus and drones on about all things not-Jasper. I don't want to hear about anything not-Jasper right now.

What class is this again? Oh right, Biology. I know whose anatomy I'd like to get into…

_Oh my god shut the fuck up right now, Edward. Let's be honest here, all you're gonna do is stare at him and hope he doesn't talk to you. _

I grew more frustrated as I became lost in my thoughts once more. What the fuck did I want anyway? I wanted to go up and talk to him, get to know him, maybe even…. more. But at the same time I wanted to stay as far away from him as possible.

As our professor droned on about frogs or some shit, I continued to shamelessly eye fuck Jasper and pray no one else notices.

I'll be honest here. I've never done anything. With anyone. I haven't even kissed a guy. Or girl. I could be a horny bastard sometimes, but I had never actually taken action on it. I always assumed it was because I was self-conscious. I dunno.

I look back to the board to see Mr…. Vulture-y? I already forgot his name. He starts writing random stuff on the board that's already in our syllabus. I start to wonder if he thinks we're all five year olds.

As I turn back to Jasper, all I can see is red. Or maybe green. Either way, he's talking to someone. A girl. And she's talking back to him. This is unacceptable.

Putting my head back down, I try to calm myself. I've always been the irrationally jealous type. Even though I don't have the slightest idea what they're talking about, the fact remains that this random girl has the pleasure of speaking with that beautiful creature, and I do not.

But it's not like I would talk to him if I had the chance. I just don't want anyone else to.

_Fuck, Edward, what's your problem?_

As if Mr. Vulture-y can sense my lack of any interest in this class, he walks over to my table and says rather loudly "Mr. Cullen, it has been not 10 minutes since I asked you to stay awake in my classroom. If this is going to be a problem, I will dismiss you from this course."

I glare back at him, feeling my face turning red but not trusting myself to speak. Satisfied with my response, Mr. Jerkbag walks back to the front of the classroom and continues lecturing us on the importance of things I don't care about.

I sneak a glance at Jasper and my face turns even redder (if that's possible) when I see him staring back at me with a look of…. is that interest? Irritation? Indifference? I'm usually so good at reading what people are thinking but I have no clue what emotion his face is supposed to be expressing right now.

Seemingly a little embarrassed at being caught, He quickly turns back to the front of the classroom.

After what seems like an eternity, the class finally ends and Jasper is one of the first ones out the door. I'm glad, because I didn't really want to talk to him, but there is someone else I wanted to get to know a little better.

As I walk past the table where the girl who was talking to my Jasper was sitting, I quickly formulate a plan.

_Wait. _My_ Jasper? I need to calm down and get a hold of myself._

I knock her notebook on the ground and make sure to make it look like an accident. She shyly lets out a little yelp and I turn to look at her.

Trying to hide my disgust, I pick up her book and give her my best fake smile. She looks at me like I'm about to mug her.

"I'm sorry about that, I really should watch where I'm going," I tell her, giving her the best smile I could muster. If nothing else, I knew I had my smile to fall back on. That thing worked like a charm.

Visibly relaxing, she takes the notebook from my hand and moves to leave the classroom muttering "Thank you, it's okay."

Right before she leaves, I quickly say "Hey, I really am sorry. My name's Edward by the way," holding out my hand to her.

She hesitates for a moment, then looks up at my smile and slowly sticks her hand out "Um, I'm Tanya. Nice to meet you Mr. Cullen," she says and she shakes my hand and giggles while leaving the room.

_Ugh. It's gonna be a while before anyone forgets that._

I guess I can be extremely self conscious and easily embarrassed, even if I don't always let it show.

Shoving the wall of mind-text away before it starts, I move to leave the classroom, satisfied at gaining the knowledge I was seeking.

I now knew the name of that stupid girl.

I walk out to the parking lot and take out the keys to my mom's car. Yeah, my mom's car. As in not my own. The community college I'm attending is only a five minute drive from my house, so I was staying with my parents.

And since I was staying with them, they felt no need to get me my own car.

I got in the car and realized I had to go to work today. I worked in a doctor's clinic, basically handling their financial affairs and doing odd jobs that needing doing. My parents were friends with the doctor and that's how I landed the job. That also gave me the ability to do things you can't normally do at a place of business.

For example, today I was going to call in and tell them I had some school shit to take care of and wouldn't be able to make it. As I did so, the manager said it was fine and no further explanation from me was needed.

I make my way home and unlock the front door, groaning when I see that my family is still home.

My family.

I hate them. But I don't really know why. I just know that the mere sight of any one of them instantly puts me in a bad mood. None of them know I'm gay. That's information I only share with certain friends, and even then there might be all of three people that I've told.

I live with my dad, stepmom, brother, and grandma. I don't really know why my grandma lives with us, but I don't really care enough to question it.

I move quickly once I'm in the house, trying to get up the stairs and into my room before anyone sees me.

Of course, I have no such luck.

Just as I'm about to round the stairs, I hear my grandma call out "Hello Edward."

I groan and mutter a response because not responding to a greeting in my house is a crime.

I quickly go up to my room and open my laptop. It's time to see just how much I can find out about this "Tanya" and more importantly, Jasper.

I get on Facebook and frown as I think about how few friends I actually have. I sit back and drift off into a memory of my former best friend.

"_Wait, so you lied about the whole fucking thing?" He asked angrily. I've never even seen him angry before._

"_Wait, Mike, let me explain, please," I practically beg him, not wanting him to leave. Not only is he my best friend, I've been in love with him for two years now. I didn't want to lose him._

"_You fucking lied to me about half your life! Who the fuck lies about-"_

I'm interrupted by my flashback by the new message sound on Facebook. I look to see that it's my sister, Alice, asking how I'm doing. She lives in New York with my mom and my other sister. Not really having any desire to speak to her, I change my status to "offline" and move back to what I was about to start earlier.

Pushing back memories of Mike and wiping the tears that now threaten to fall, I enter Tanya's name into Facebook's search bar. I quickly realize I don't know her last name, but it doesn't really matter since the first result looks just like her.

I click the link on her name and am instantly disgusted by what I see. He profile picture, now enlarged, shows her half naked while holding a drink. She has something like five thousand friends.

_Huh. I wonder what the whole shy routine was today. Someone this popular shouldn't be so shy._

Ignoring my current train of thought, I turn my attention back to my screen and search for Jasper Whitlock. I figure that someone with five thousand friends and a slutty profile picture doesn't really warrant any more of my attention.

My breath hitches as I see the first result. I click the name and I'm instantly graced with a picture of the most beautiful boy in existence. And he's shirtless. As in shirt-less. As in without a shirt. As in fuck me right now.

Finding it impossible to stop staring at my screen, I take note of every detail of his beautiful body. His chest is hard and chiseled, not too buff, but definitely not scrawny either. His abs are well defined and I can't help but imagine what they must feel like under my tongue. He has the most gorgeous V line I think I've ever seen, and I try to stop myself from fantasizing about anything else.

His muscled arm is around an older woman with deep blue eyes and curly blond hair. Given the resemblance, I can only assume that this woman is his mother. She is truly a beautiful woman, and I can immediately see where he gets his looks from.

I sigh as I look away from the screen. My conflicting emotions start running wild once again.

_What the fuck do I expect to come out of this? I know I'm not gonna talk to him. But I want to. So where does that leave me then? Am I just gonna sit here and stare at his profile picture all day?_

My thoughts are cut short once again by a sound from Facebook. Slightly frustrated, I look back over to what the new notification is, and my breathing just stops. I read and re-read the new notification until I feel like I'm going to explode.

"Jasper Whitlock has added you as a friend on Facebook. Confirm?"

I let out a loud breath and sit there speechless for several minutes. What the fuck? Jasper added _me_? We hadn't even said two words to each other!

The mouse pointer hovers over the "Confirm" option as I try to weigh the pros and cons of adding him. After an eternity of thought, I realize that it really couldn't hurt.

I click confirm and feel my heart start beating faster. I close my eyes and attempt to calm myself when another fucking noise from my computer blares again. I really need to find out how to turn these sounds off.

I look up and am again left speechless and out of breath. He had sent me a message.

"Hey man! I'm in your Biology class, I sit on the other side of the room"

I smile as I read that, realizing that he probably wasn't aware that I was staring at him.

I debate on what to say, thinking about asking him why he added me. I quickly decide against outright asking that, since I didn't want to drive him away. Or did I? I don't even know.

I decide on "Hey what's up?" and instantly curse myself for such a simple and meaningless message.

He responds "Not much dude, just thought I'd add you cuz that shit was fucking hilarious today."

I cringe a little, thinking that the only hilarious part was my face when the prof came over to my table, but I decide to ask him what he's talking about anyway.

"Dude you should have seen your face! The way you were glaring at him, I would've backed off right away. I'm pretty sure that's why he walked away without saying anything else."

Recalling the incident, my face was more the reaction to being singled out in front of a classroom than one of anger. Then I realize that this means he must have been looking at me at some point to have seen that.

I'm well aware that the entire class was probably looking at me, but the fact that I now knew that Jasper was made all the difference.

We continue to talk about mostly meaningless subjects when he brings up his class schedule.

"Yeah man I have math and history tomorrow and I'm not really good at either one. I prefer science so I'm glad I'm in Biology."

Even though he just told me that he's glad he's in Biology because he likes science, I subconsciously twist his words and make myself think he's glad he's in that class because I'm in it. Realizing what I just did, I groan a little but don't really try to change my perception of what my Jasper just said.

_Again with the _my_ Jasper shit. Just fucking stop it unless you want to end up hurting yourself again, Edward._

As I move to respond, a thought occurs to me.

_Wait. Math? I have math tomorrow. _

I quickly respond to his last message. "Hey I have math tomorrow too. Which math are you taking?"

His response comes almost instantly. "I have Calc 2, first class of the damn morning haha."

Oh. My. Fuck. Yes.

Trying to contain my excitement before anything is confirmed, I respond with "Hey me too! Room 257?"

He doesn't reply instantly this time, and I'm silently praying to whatever deity will listen that we have the same math class.

After about five minutes, his response comes. "Yeah same room, sorry about that I had to find my schedule."

I squeal. Yeah, I fucking squeal. I would be seeing him first thing in the morning and I couldn't be fucking happier to go to school.

Contemplating my response, I decide to take a chance. "Cool, we'll be in class together then. Save me a seat? ;)"

After realizing that I had sent that smiley face along with the message, I start slumping down in my chair, waiting for the ground to swallow me up. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why did I use that fucking face? God damn it.

I look up to see his message. "Sure! And if you get there before me, save me a seat! :)"

I think I just melted.

The rest of the day flies by as I sit there in my blissed out trance. I go to bed early, just so I can wake up faster.

My dreams that night are full of Jasper, and nothing but Jasper.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know the chapters are getting longer, but I don't like to place limits on how long or short my chapters are. I just write until I get to what I feel like is a good stopping point. Enjoy :)**

**I own nothing Twilight related.**

**EPOV.**

Mornings. Who came up with mornings? Whoever did should be pushed off a cliff. I volunteer to do the pushing.

I look over at my alarm clock and see that it's already 6:30. Fuck, I slept for nine hours and I'm still tired. As I move to get up, I see my computer and all of yesterday's online events come crashing back to me.

I lay back down on my bed as I think about the conversation I had with Jasper and can't stop the silly grin starting to spread on my face.

_And I get to see him today! _

I squeal. Again. Like a little girl. But I don't even care at this point. I get to see Jasper today.

With that I practically skip to the shower and get ready in less than fifteen minutes.

Back in my room, I frown as I realize I still have an hour before I have to leave. I normally wake up early because I spend too much time getting ready, but thoughts of Jasper made me get ready so fast that I don't have anything to do with the extra time.

I decide on wearing red button down shirt with a pair of tight-but-not-too-tight black jeans. As I walk by the bathroom, I briefly contemplate checking the mirror to see how I look, but then decide against it.

If I had looked in the mirror, I would've ended up here all morning trying on every last piece of clothing in my closet. I've never really been happy with the way I look.

I dread facing my family as I walk down the stairs. Again, they're really nice people, it's just that for whatever reason the very sight of them makes me irrationally angry.

I walk downstairs and see my father sitting at the breakfast table on his computer. It's like he'd be lost if he didn't have that thing.

"Good morning, Edward," he says, looking up at me with a slight smile.

"Morning," I mutter under my breath, just loud enough for him to hear it and leave me alone. My incredible mood from thinking about Jasper is gone. And just like that, I'm reminded that I'm going to be able to see him in… damn, an hour? Time passes by so slow when you're excited.

I grab some kind of breakfast bar and head out the door before any other family members can wake up.

As I reach the school, the parking lot is nearly empty. Sighing, I drive up to a space near the entrance of the school and debate on whether or not I should go inside yet.

I decide to go in and reach over to the other seat to grab my backpack. My hand freezes and my breathing quickly follows.

About ten parking spaces next to me, I see him. The most beautiful creature to have graced this earth walking to the entrance of the school.

He's dressed in a light blue T-shirt and cargo shorts, and I suddenly feel self-conscious again, wishing I could pull off such casual clothing. I've been told I can, but I don't believe it.

I run my hand through my eternally messed up hair as I watch him enter the building. As much as I want to go in, I can't now.

_What could Jasper be doing here? It's only 7:15. Oh my god, what if he's here because he's excited to see me? Maybe he wanted to get here before me so he could save me a seat!_

After considering those thoughts for about five seconds, I feel like slapping myself for being such an idiot. Why would he even be excited to see me?

My mood ruined once again, I get out of the car and decide to just go to class instead of wallowing in my misery.

I get to the entrance and stop in front of the glass, staring at my reflection. I half expected… what was his name, Emmett? I was pretty much waiting for him to jump out of nowhere and make fun of me again.

When he doesn't, I frown at my reflection, much as I do every time I see myself.

_I hate my fucking hair. I hate my face. I hate everything about myself. Why would Jasper even want me? Why do I keep fooling myself into thinking I even have a chance with him?_

One thing I have never insulted about myself is the color of my eyes. They're the same deep shade of green as my biological mother's, and I haven't seen her in seven years. I miss her, more than I'd ever admit to even myself.

_She didn't want me._

I know the tears were going to start flowing soon but I don't care. As I lift my hand up to open the door, it swings open and a very concerned Jasper is staring at me.

I can't even turn my head away as I gaze into his beautiful blue eyes, showing nothing but the utmost concern for someone he barely knows.

"Hey Edward, what's wrong?" he asks, cocking his head.

Unwilling to deal with him and the emotions he inevitably stirs up, I quickly walk past him and mutter "nothing" under my breath so low that I'm not even sure he hears me.

He catches up with me and puts his hand on my shoulder, trying to turn me around. My first instinct is to jerk out of his grasp, but I realize that would make the situation even worse than it already is.

I try to calm myself and gently move his hand off my shoulder.

And then I felt it.

As my hand touched his, I felt electricity shooting through my body and my original intention of carefully moving his hand off of my shoulder is gone.

I jerk out of his touch, then after quickly realizing what I've just done, I look at him and quickly tell him that I'll be fine and just need a moment.

Unconvinced, he looks me in the eyes again. "Are you sure man? You can talk to me if you need to."

I fake a smile and look back at him. "No really, I'm fine. Should we get to class now?"

"I actually have some paperwork to take care of at the…er, registrar's office, that's why I'm here early. I'll meet you in class later?"

I can't help but notice he looks a bit nervous as he mentions his paperwork. Not wanting to pry, I agree and turn to head up the stairs.

"Hey make sure to save me a seat," He says before going back to the administration offices.

My head is a mess of emotions as I try to make sense of what just happened.

_Why the fuck did I have to get so emotional today? And why was he there? Why did he have to see me like that? Damn it. That means he wasn't here early because he was excited to see me. But he did tell me to save him a seat. And that feeling when I touched him…_

I feel my lips quirk up into a small smile as I reach the classroom.

I open the door, glad to see it's unlocked this early, then stop as I see the one person who is already in the classroom. Oh god. Why? Why….

"Hey there Eddie!" Emmett practically yells as he gets up and holds his fist out to me.

I groan, quite loudly, and brush past him to a seat as far away as possible from him. I put my backpack on the chair to my left and lay my head on the table, hoping that Jasper gets here soon.

Unperturbed by my lack of enthusiasm at my greeting, Emmett picks up his backpack and comes over to where I'm sitting. I glance up to tell him off, but stop as I see him staring at my backpack.

"Waiting for someone… special?" he asks with an even bigger grin as he eyes the reserved seat.

"As a matter of fact, yes I am, and it's none of your business who it is," I quip back at him. Yeah, I'm being a complete ass right now. No, I don't care.

"Cool, cool," he says, sitting down in the seat directly in front of me. "So... what's her name?"

"_His_ name is Jasper, and he's just a friend I met in a class yesterday."

"Eddie, I'm hurt!" he tells me, his hand over his heart and a look of mock exasperation on his face.

"Why?" I wonder, trying to figure out what I could have said to get that reaction from him.

"I've been trying to talk to you since yesterday morning, and you ignore me!" he practically yells. God, was this guy even capable of being quiet? "And now you tell me you've made a friend? You've broken my heart Eddie Cullen, broken it I tell you!"

I just glare at him, unsure of what to say. He's right after all, I'm being a jerk and I don't really have an excuse.

Leaning closer to me, he narrows his eyes and asks, "Dude, have you been crying?"

Realizing that it must still be quite evident on my face, I simply shake my head and avoid eye contact.

"Oh no Eddie, don't tell me you're crying because you feel bad about blowing me off! I forgive you buddy!"

His sarcasm now getting on my last nerve, I simply ask "So whatever happened to Rosacea or whatever the hell that girl's name was?"

"Duuuuude… she's amazing," he tells me, staring at the ceiling as if lost in thought. I briefly wonder if he is even capable of thought before he continues, "Her name's Rosalie though, and we were meant for each other. I just know it."

I smirk to myself, knowing quite well what it feels like to think you're in love after knowing someone for only a short period of time.

He blabbers on about Rosalie this and Rosalie that for the better part of half an hour as students continue to enter the room. Looking down at my phone, I start to get a little worried. It's 7:58, and Jasper still isn't here.

"He'll be here," Emmett's voice interrupts me from my worried state. I look up at him but he has already turned back around to face the front of the classroom. What the fuck?

8:00 on the dot Jasper walks in, nervously looking around the crowded classroom. His eyes meet mine and he looks at my backpack on the seat next to me.

At this moment, I am graced with the most beautiful smile I have ever seen in my life as he comes over to sit in his reserved seat.

I move my backpack out of the way and smile at him as he sits down, and this time, the smile on my face was genuine. Few people have the power to really make me smile, but it seems like Jasper is one of those people.

"Hi Jasper," I said shyly, turning only slightly to look at him.

"Hey Edward," he answered, still wearing that breathtaking smile on his face.

Emmett turns around to look at Jasper. "So, you're the special friend Edward has been so impatiently waiting for?"

I open my mouth to yell at Emmett for exaggerating, but before I can, Jasper answers him.

"Um, I guess. I'm Jasper," my golden haired boy responds nervously, holding his hand out. Yeah, I said "my" again. Deal with it.

"Emmett," he grins as he throws his fist out.

Jasper grins back at him as he curls his hand into a fist and meets Emmett's.

I watch their actions with several emotions playing through my head at once.

Jealous that Emmett was able to interact so easily with Jasper. Angry that Emmett had the nerve to so much as look at Jasper. And then… fucking ecstatic that Jasper didn't make a comment about being my "special friend."

The classroom door opens again and a woman in her forties walks in with a suitcase, er, "purse" full of more things than could fit in a car.

She pulls out a clipboard and I mentally brace myself for the ceremonial calling of the attendance. I don't even know why I hate this so much. Probably because I hate my name.

_Just like I hate everything else about myself._

After making sure everyone was here and butchering more than a few names along the way, Mrs. Taylor (I think that was her name. I'm far too distracted by the Greek God sitting next to me to care) begins handing out the class syllabus and writing some fairly simple math problems on the board.

As Jasper hands me a syllabus, I notice that his hand is shaking slightly.

Looking up at his face, he seems to just be reading the information on how our grades would be determined. I figure I must have imagined it and return my attention to the board.

Math has always come fairly easy to me. I didn't have a doubt that I would be able to breeze through this class.

I start to sneak another look at Jasper, and this time I see pure terror in his eyes as he watches the problems being written on the board. Not wanting to see him look like that, I nudge his shoulder carefully.

"Hey," I whisper. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he says quietly, looking down at his lap.

"C'mon, tell me Jasper," I said, unconvinced.

"I just…" he began. "I'm not good at…. math. Ms. Taylor said that we're expected to know the problems on the board, but I don't even know how to start any of them."

I contemplate what he just told me, and I feel like there's definitely more to the story than that. I don't think he's lying to me, but a person doesn't get that terrified over not knowing how to do a few math problems. I decided again to avoid prying.

"Don't worry about it, I can help you if you want," I told him, smiling again. Twice in the span of fifteen minutes, this boy has managed to make me genuinely smile. That's a feat very, very few people have accomplished.

_Damn it. Did I really just offer to help him with math? He's going to think I'm a creep or something. Why would he want my help anyway? He's perfect. Someone like him doesn't…_

The ramblings of my mind are cut off by his still breathtaking smile. I realize now that I would do absolutely anything to make sure that this perfect boy is able to keep on smiling like this.

"Really?" he asked, and I was slightly confused by the shock in his voice. Did he really think I would refuse to help him?

"Sure," I said simply and turned back to the board, not wanting him to see the big ass grin spreading on my face.

"Thanks Edward," he said, sounding completely sincere.

"Sure thing, Jasper," I replied, turning just slightly so he could see me smiling at him. And of course, so I could see his smile.

The rest of the class flies by as I think about Jasper, and then more Jasper, and then even more Jasper.

I think about how amazing it would feel to fall asleep with my head against his chest, wrapped in his strong arms. The thought alone is starting to cause a bit of a… problem in my pants, and I try to focus my attention back on the board.

Yeah, it doesn't work. But I try my best to make the little problem go away and thankfully, just before class ends, it does.

As class ends, Jasper quickly makes his way to the door, managing to be the first one out just like in our Biology class yesterday. Frowning slightly because he didn't wait for me to pack up my stuff, I try to shrug it off as I walk out. As I pass Emmett, he gives me this strange look that I couldn't really understand.

All thoughts of Emmett and whatever looks he may or may not have given are out the window as I see Jasper waiting for me outside the door.

_He waited. For me. _

I feel my heart flutter at the realization, refusing to let thoughts of inferiority take over my mind as they so often do.

He smiles at me and offers to walk me to my next class. Needless to say, my heart is now fluttering even more than it was ten seconds ago.

As we get to my next class, I turn to ask him where his next class is.

"Um, I think it's downstairs somewhere. Anyway here," he holds out a small piece of paper torn from a notebook. "That's my number, I mean if you want it. So it would be easier to talk I guess?" He looks nervous and I can't really figure out why. He's the most attractive person to have ever walked this earth, why would he be nervous about anything?

_Wait. His… phone number. He gave me his phone number. I didn't even have to ask for it. He just… gave it to me? But why? Why would…_

Reminding myself not to let anything negative cross my mind, I quickly push the thoughts away and put the paper into my pocket. I figure now would be a good time to ask a question that has been at the front of my mind since I got here.

"Jasper, what were you doing at the front door this morning?" I ask him.

"Huh?" he looks completely confused, as if he has no idea what I'm asking him. He probably doesn't.

Now apparently it's my turn to be nervous. "Well, you said you had something to take care of in the registrar's office, so why were you at the front door?"

"Oh, I left some of my paperwork in my truck. I needed some of the financial… um, confirmation forms and I forgot them there."

_Financial confirmation forms? I've never even heard of those before._

Not wanting to push him any further given how nervous he already seemed to be, I decide to accept his answer.

"Oh okay, I hope everything worked out alright?" I ask, hoping to make it clear I have no intention of prying. Because I'm a good person like that. Not really.

He visibly relaxes when he realizes I'm not going to push the issue. "Yeah, I hope it will," he says, and adds "See you later," as he turns to walk away.

I turn to walk into my next class, English I think, and sit down, letting thoughts of Jasper run rampant in my head. I barely realize Rosalie is in this class but that doesn't really matter to me anyway.

After class, I drive home and run straight up to my room, thankful that no one is there to talk to me.

_Yeah, because that would just be abso-fucking-lutely terrible right?_

Shaking my head before I'm attacked by my wall of mind-text again, I program Jasper's number into my phone and start debating whether or not I should call him.

Is it too soon? Would he think I was desperate? Weird? Maybe he changed his mind and he hates me now.

I shake my head and try to calm down.

_He's just a friend, Edward, nothing else. He doesn't think of you as anything else, so stop making this out to be something that it's not._

I decide to call him right now with the excuse that it's to make plans to study for math.

I find his name in my phone, and hit call. My heart rate picked up as I waited for him to answer.

What I heard next was most definitely not what I expected.

"Who the fuck is this?" the high pitched screech of an obviously drunk woman blares through my phone.

"Um, is Jasper there?" I ask nervously, my mind racing at a million miles per second.

_Did he give me the wrong number? Did he do it on purpose? Shit. Is this his girlfriend? What the fuck…_

"Why do ya wanna talk to that good for nothing piece-a shit anyway?" replied the drunk woman.

I'm angry. Furious. Who the fuck is this woman and how dare she call my Jasper that?

Before I can let loose the wrath of God upon this abomination of a woman, I hear a beautiful voice in the background. It sounds like Jasper struggling to get his phone from this pitiful excuse for a human being. If you haven't already noticed, I hate her.

"Um, hi Edward, this is Jasper," he says through the phone, sounding anxious, nervous, and apologetic all at the same time.

"Hey Jasper. Who is…?" I ask, not knowing how to finish my question.

"That's my mom, sorry," he says quietly.

"Your mom?" I ask, my voice clearly revealing the sheer amount of shock I am currently experiencing.

"Yeah," he answers quietly.

"But she said-"

"I fucking know what she said okay?" he cuts me off, sounding hurt and angry this time. "She fucking hates me!" he pauses for a moment. "Edward… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine Jasper," I tell him, cutting him off this time. "I just wanted to make some plans to study with you, if you still want to?"

"Um, yeah, I do. Thanks Edward. I'm really sorry that-"

"Jasper," I cut him off again.

"Yeah?" he sounds even more nervous than before.

"You don't have anything to apologize for," I tell him quietly, unable to bear the sound of my boy hurting so much. "What happens in your life is your business, and if you decide to make it my business, then I'll be right here, ready and willing to listen."

There is so much more I want to say, but I know I can't. Right now, Jasper needs to know that I'll be here for him whenever he needs me, and that's all.

"Thank you," he says, so quietly that I wouldn't have heard it if I wasn't so anxiously listening for him to say something.

"Anything for you, Jasper."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here's a class schedule (for the classes we've already seen) for you guys, so you know who's where and when.**

**MWF – 8:00 AM – Speech – Edward, Emmett, Rosalie**

**MWF – 9:00 AM – Biology – Edward, Jasper, Tanya**

**TR – 8:00 AM – Math – Edward, Emmett, Jasper**

**TR – 9:25 AM – Edward, Rosalie **

**I own nothing.**

**EPOV**

_Anything for you, Jasper._

Even though it has been almost two hours since I hung up the phone with Jasper, the words I said are still running through my head with no signs of stopping any time soon.

_I can't believe I said that. Fuck. He's probably not gonna want to come anywhere near me after that. What the fuck was I thinking?_

Groaning, I lay down on my bed and run my hand through my hair again. It's probably standing straight up since I've been doing this nonstop for the last half hour now.

_Should I send him a text message? Is it too soon? Will he think I'm weird for trying to talk to him so soon after we've already spoken? Will he even want to talk to me now?_

Fuck it.

I get up and walk over to my desk, taking my phone and seeing that I have a new message. Apparently, I just wasted the last two hours worrying about absolutely nothing.

"**Thank you Edward. You really don't know what this means to me. I'm not ready to talk about anything yet, but when I am, you'll be the first person I come to. – Jasper"**

_Well I hope that I'm the first person you come to._ Groaning once again, I mentally smack myself for making a sexual remark at his expense.

And now the butterflies and squealing and skipping all return and I read and re-read (and re-re-read) his message.

I quickly text him back, seeing that the message was received about half an hour ago.

"**No problem Jas. I'll be here whenever you need to talk."**

Hold up. Jas? Did I just fucking call him Jas? Because I clearly have not groaned enough today, I groan loudly again and lay down.

_Yeah, I'm sure he just loves when guys give him nicknames. _

At that moment, a fleeting thought made me jerk upright and stare at the wall.

_Wait. I don't know for a fact that he isn't gay. I mean, is it normal for guys to talk the way he talks to me? Okay well even if he is gay, what makes me think he wants to be with me? Why would someone as perfect as him settle for someone like me? _

My body now physically exhausted from the amount of strain my mood swings are putting on it, I lay down and tell myself I just need to rest for a few minutes. I end up waking up three hours later.

Since it's just the second day of school, I don't really have any work to do. I stare up at the ceiling trying to figure out how to entertain myself when I feel my phone underneath me. I pull it out to see a message from Jasper.

"**:)"**

And the butterflies and unicorns and fairies and rainbows reappear.

Unwilling to deal with the mess of emotions still lingering in my mind, I decide to rest for just a few more minutes.

As fate would have it, those few minutes turn into the whole night as I wake up glaring at my alarm clock.

Realizing that I get to see Jasper today, I run through my morning routine in about ten minutes and rush out the door before anyone in my family even has a chance to talk to me. I swear, I think they wait for any opportunity to annoy me.

Pulling up to the parking lot, I look at the clock in the car and realize that it's only 7:15. What the fuck possessed me to get here this early? My class with Jasper isn't even until 9. I have class with Emmett before that.

I grumble to myself as I think about having to deal with Emmett. Although, I would like to ask him what that look he gave me yesterday was for.

I walk up the glass door at the entrance and smirk to myself. Stupid door has already gotten me a bit more attention than I would've liked. Just as I'm about to open the door, I see a flash of perfection before me.

Through the door, I can see Jasper rushing from the stairs to the administration office. I frown a bit, trying to figure out what he could be doing here this early again.

I walk inside faster than any normal human should walk. When I look around the stairs, I watch him as he heads to the registrar's office, but instead see him enter the financial aid office.

_Huh. I wonder if all this fuss is about money._

I'll admit it, I'm a spoiled brat. My parents are filthy rich and I probably wouldn't even have to work a day in my life if I didn't want to. And I really didn't want to. So to see someone struggling financially was a bit confusing to me, since I didn't really know what that was like.

Making a note to ask him about that later, I head up the stairs.

I mentally brace myself to be attacked by a bear as I walk in, but see that no one is here yet. I look at my phone again, realizing that it's not even 7:30. I go to my seat and lay my head down.

Not nearly enough time has passed before I'm woken up by the sound of a tank firing off its cannon. Also known as Emmett bursting through the door.

"Good morning bestest friend Eddie!" He practically yells as he makes it to his seat in a single stride.

"Not in the mood, Emmett." I'm really not in the mood. My head is a mess of emotions thanks to my incredible ability to overanalyze any and every situation, especially when said situation does not require it.

"Fine be that way," he shrugs and starts anxiously staring at the door. The class flies by and all I really here is Emmett talking to Rosalie. I think we have a speech due at some point in the near future too, but I'm not too sure.

The second the teacher dismisses the class, I'm already nearly out the door. As I round the corner toward my next class, I hear Emmett say "Say hi to pretty boy for me!"

I turn to give him the glare of a thousand suns, but he's already talking to Rosalie again. I pretend I didn't notice him because I'm classy and shit like that.

I get to my next class a with few people already in it. I frown as I turn to sit in my seat.

_Damn. Jasper sits on the other side of the room with that… creature. Well it's not like he'll want to sit with me. Or will he? Doesn't matter though does it? I DON'T KNOW._

As I so gracefully do in every class, I put my head down on the table and I'm not sure when it happens, but I fall asleep.

Since the universe hates me or something, I'm shocked awake by the sound of Mr. Vulture-y practically yelling "Mr. Cullen, wake up!"

I jerk my head up and quickly say "Sorry Mr. Vulture-y, won't happen again."

The students who were giggling now burst out laughing as the prof corrects me, "The name is Mr. Volturi, and that is your absolute last warning."

My face turns redder than I think it has ever been. As I move to cover my face while I take notes on what the prof has written down, I quickly remember that Jasper is in this class. I anxiously look over to his seat and frown when I don't see him there.

As if on cue, Jasper bursts through the door, apologizing to the prof for being late. "Don't make a habit of it," he sneers before continuing to write unimportant (to me) things on the board.

Jasper quickly glances in my direction before moving to take his seat. Again, the expression on his face is unreadable.

"Now class, I need to make a seating chart, so if any of you would like to change your seat, please do so now," Mr. "Volturi" states nonchalantly after writing words and then more words no one cares about.

My first instinct is to run to where Jasper is sitting, but I notice that the seats on either side of him are occupied by some girl and then that creature-thing, Tanya. My seat is at the edge of the table against the wall, and some guy who seems like he's perpetually drunk slouches in the seat next to me.

As if the universe wants to prove it's not all bad, the drunken guy gets up and I reflexively put my backpack on his chair. All too soon, my thoughts are running rampant again.

_Why even put my backpack there? It's not like he'll want to sit here. He's probably perfectly content sitting with Tanya over there. Why would he want to sit next to me?_

The next thing I know, Jasper is standing next to the chair with his head cocked to the side, giving me a questioning look.

"Were you saving that seat for someone?" he asks, a hint of dejection in his voice.

At this point I'm completely caught off guard by the fact that Jasper, the most perfect man to have ever lived _ever_, is basically asking me if he can sit in the seat next to me. I'm literally unable to make words.

"Alright, I get it," he says quietly and moves to turn around.

"Um, wait Jasper," I whisper-yell, "No, this seat is for you. I kinda just zoned out there."

And at that moment he turns around with the smile to end all smiles and sits down as I move my backpack.

"I'm glad he moved, since it didn't seem like either of the girls next to me were going to," he tells me as he gets his notebook out of his backpack.

I look over to where he sat before and see Tanya glaring at me, quickly turning around when she sees me watching.

I'm tempted to stick my tongue out at her.

But I don't, because like I said, I'm classy and shit.

As I fully comprehend what just happened, my mind starts racing again.

_Holy fucking fuck. _Classy, right? _I can't fucking believe Jasper came over here to sit with me. And he actually looked disappointed when he thought the seat wasn't for him!_

Reminding myself to stop getting caught up in my fantasy world, I try to calm my now racing thoughts.

_Calm down, Edward. He probably just wanted to sit with his friend, nothing else._

"Well isn't that fitting? The two troublemakers in the class decide to sit together."

Jasper and I look up at the same time to see Mr. Stupidface giving us a look of pure hatred. I turn to look away as my face turns red while Jasper just glares at him. The entire class seems to be holding its breath as the staring contest continues.

"Well then, as I was saying…" the prof turns around looking almost… intimidated? I look over at Jasper who then turns his glare to me, with the slightest hint of a smirk. I wince slightly, understanding why the prof turned around.

Jasper's face instantly turns apologetic. "I'm sorry Edward. That face wasn't for you, it was for that dickbag up there," he whispers as he motions toward the board. "Fucker thinks he can call us out like that, I don't put up with that shit."

My thoughts are going a million miles per second now, and I swear my heartbeat is so loud the entire class can hear it.

_He just stuck up for me Well himself really, but me too. And he said "us." _It took every ounce of self control I had to stop myself from squealing.

For once, my musings on how perfect he is in my mind are cut off by other thoughts. _I wish I wasn't so easily embarrassed. If it came down to it, would I be willing to stick up for him that way?_

I felt a jolt of electricity shoot through my shoulder as I look up and see Jasper's hand on my shoulder and an extremely concerned look on his face.

"Edward, are you okay?" he asked carefully, keeping his hand where it was.

"You… hand… shoulder..." I managed to get out, unable to form a coherent sentence.

He jerked his hand back, setting it down on his lap as he muttered "Sorry."

It's not that I didn't like his hand there. I _really_ like having his hand on me. I just couldn't think straight with it there, and what the hell was up with that fucking electricity? Isn't that what's supposed to happen when you're in love or some shit?

I groan, annoyed at what I knew what was going to be my new reason for believing that this was actually true love, different from every other time.

I look back over at Jasper and notice that his cockiness from before is gone, replaced by a look of apprehension.

"Alright class, before you leave, I'm going to hand out the group project instructions. Each group will consist of two people, and I really could not care less who your partners are." This guy seemed like such a happy person.

_Sigh. Because I'm one to judge other people's happiness right?_

I guess I managed to get lost in thought again because the next thing I know, I'm looking into two deep blue pools of perfection.

Jasper continues to stare at me as if he's waiting for me to say something. "So…?" he begins.

"What?" I ask, completely confused as to what he's asking.

"Do you want to be my partner?" he asks quietly, looking back down at his lap.

Even though I know exactly what he's asking me, my brain naturally twists his words completely out of context as my heart begins beating faster.

_I'd love to be your partner, Jasper._

Willing myself to relax, I answer with an eloquent "Yeah."

As I pick up the instruction sheet, I look over it and realize this is an elaborate and lengthy project that will probably take weeks to do. And then the full implications of the project hit me.

_This means we'll be spending time together outside of school. A lot of time._

As we leave the classroom, we start to talk about some of the project details. We agree to meet up after school this weekend so we can get started.

"Okay, so you do want to work at your place or mine?" I ask, figuring it's as casual a question as any.

The look he gives me states otherwise.

"Well… I was hoping, if it's not too much trouble, I mean if it's okay," he stammers out, and I cannot figure out this boy's mood swings. He goes from cocky to nervous in a matter of seconds.

"What Jasper?" I ask, absolutely in love the concept of saying his name.

"Can we work at your place?" he asked, looking anywhere but at me.

"Yeah that's fine" I say, still wearily watching his movements. "Jasper, what's wrong?"

"What? Nothing." he says, as if he wasn't just having a nervous breakdown.

"Jasper," I say, this time more sternly. He flinches a little at my tone, and this time I put my hand on his shoulder. "Jasper. Tell me what's wrong."

He doesn't shy away from my touch or make any indication that he doesn't like it, so I leave my hand where it is.

He gets a determined look on his face. "It's nothing, Edward. Can we talk when I come over? Please?" I can't tell if he's pleading to talk to me or pleading to hold off on this conversation until he came over on the weekend.

Sighing, I decide to drop the subject for now. "Okay Jasper, we can talk then," I tell him, giving him my best fake smile. It's not like I could say no to him anyway.

The smile that greets me after my response makes everything right in the world.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Is it too early to start making story recommendations? Eh, whatever. If you're looking for an absolutely incredible Jasper/Edward fanfic, check out "Lessons Learned" by mistyhaze420. That fic is absolutely phenomenal and takes you on a journey that cannot even be described in words.**

**I own nothing.**

**EPOV**

The rest of the week passes by rather quickly. It's filled with Emmett spewing more nonsense than I care to think about, Rosalie laughing at anything and everything he says, and more of my stolen glances at Jasper.

I wake up to the lovely blaring of my alarm clock and have to think for a moment about why I bothered to put that thing on. It's Saturday.

Then it hit me.

_Oh my god Jasper is gonna be here in 4 hours. Shit! I have to clean and get ready!_

We agreed to meet at noon so we could work for a bit then have lunch. I manage to clean my mess in a room at speeds currently unknown to mankind.

After about an hour of mindless cleaning, I sit down and stare aimlessly at a wall.

_Sigh. Times like these I wish I had someone to talk to about the things going on in my life._

I honestly don't have any friends. I never really did have any "best" friends I guess. It's not that people avoid me or won't talk to me, I just never let them get close and more often than not end up pushing them away.

_Well, I guess there was Mike…_

Before I know it, I'm drifting off into my memories.

"_Edward, I have to go now!"_

"_But Mike the game's not over yet! And I'm winning," I whine, trying to come up with any excuse to get him to stay. It's rare for Mike to come over to my house, and I don't want him to leave._

"_I'll come back another time, alright?" he says, looking at me with nothing but sincerity in his eyes. His eyes are the most perfect shade of blue I've ever seen._

_I whine some more, managing to get him to stay and play one more game on my Xbox before he really starts insisting that he has to go._

"_Fine, be that way," I tell him, trying not to show how upset I am. After all, he has been here for six hours now, I don't really have any reason to be upset._

"_Oh yeah, are you still up for talking to my friend Angela?"_

_I freeze, not knowing what to say next. Should I continue to lie? Or should I just tell him the truth? What will he think of me if he finds out I lied about that entire part of my life?_

"_Mike, I don't think I can talk to Angela about that…" I tell him, turning around so he can't see my face._

"_What? Why not? You promised!" Promises are important to us. To this day we'd never gone back on a promise we had made to each other. At least, he hadn't._

"_Mike, I… I need to tell you something."_

The new message sound on my phone broke down the wall of memories around me. Before I reached out to get my phone, I put one hand on my face and immediately feel the wetness that has accumulated there.

_Dammit. I told myself I wouldn't cry over this anymore._

After calming myself down a bit, I hear the new message sound on my phone again. I look over to see two messages from Jasper.

"**Are we still on for today? –Jasper"**

The second message reads "**Edward? –Jasper"**

I read the second message a few times, simply enjoying the way our names look together. Then I send him my response.

"**Of course. I know we agreed on noon but you can come over early if you'd like."**

I immediately groan upon pressing send.

_Great, now he's gonna think I'm desperate or something. Why the hell can't I think for a second before sending him a message?_

I hear the beep on my phone and prepare for the end. Death by text message. Instead, I have to do a triple take to make sure I just read the message correctly.

"**Oh, can I come now then? – Jasper"**

Remember those unicorns, rainbows, butterflies, and whatever else there were? Yeah, they're back along with many, many other things as I squeal and jump up and down.

I text him my address and tell him that would be fine, then realize I need to tell my dad that I have someone coming over.

I go downstairs and find my dad sitting at his computer.

_As usual._

"Hello Edward," he says, with that stupid smile on his face.

"I have a friend coming over in a few minutes. We have a Biology project to work on," I state matter of factly, not wanting to accidentally start a conversation out of this.

"What's his name?" my dad asks, looking somewhat surprised that I have anyone coming over.

That pisses me off much more than it should.

"Does it matter?" I ask, turning to walk away.

My dad doesn't push the issue. As I move to go upstairs, I hear the doorbell ring. I open it, and nearly fall over when I see Jasper is already here.

"How…?" I trail off, unable to finish a sentence.

He full on smirks at me, saying "Turns out you live all of like three minutes away from me. I didn't know you lived in a mansion though."

He walks in and takes in his surroundings with a completely awestruck look. I guess my earlier hunch about his money problems was right. I still need to ask about that though.

As my dad walks around the corner to see who it is, I'm already mentally cursing him for not being deaf. That sounded mean even by my standards.

Jasper awkwardly walks up to my father and sticks out his hand. "Hello, sir. I'm Jasper Whitlock."

My dad, still looking surprised, reaches out to shake his hand. "Nice to meet you Jasper, I'm Carlisle Cullen, Edward's father."

_As if Jasper couldn't have figured that out himself, dipshit._

I'm angrier than I think I've ever been in my entire life at this point. Before letting them speak any more, I slam the door shut to get their attention.

My dad, taking the hint, leaves to go back to his precious computer. God himself would not know what he does on that thing all day.

Jasper just stands there and looks at me with a confused expression on his face.

Deciding not to talk until we get up to my room, I take him by the hand and lead him upstairs.

About halfway up the stairs, the magnitude of my actions finally hits me.

_I'm holding Jasper's hand. Shit._

I quickly jerk my hand away from his and continue going up to my room. He continues to follow me, now wearing a sad expression on his face.

_Shit. He didn't do anything wrong. He shouldn't be making that face…_

As we walk into my room, I let him in and shut the door behind me. I close my eyes and lean against the door, trying to compose myself after the scene that just unfolded.

"Edward?" Jasper asks timidly. Unable to answer him yet, I keep my eyes closed and concentrate on breathing because apparently my body forgot how to do that.

"Edward? I'm sorry. I didn't-"

I cut him off. "Jasper, what could you possibly be apologizing for?"

He just looked down at the floor.

"Hey, no, I'm sorry for reacting like that. It's just… I don't really know how to explain it and I don't really want to right now okay?" I'm begging for him to just forget what happened at this point.

"Um, okay," he says as he sits down on the chair next to my bed.

_Damnit. This isn't fair to him. I need to explain my reaction but he'll just think I'm fucking crazy or something._

"I didn't know you took ADHD medication," he notes, looking at my bottle of Vyvanse on my desk. His tone is casual for the most part, but I can't help but feel like there's something else going on.

"Um, yeah, it's not something I advertise, you know?" Now I'm confused. Of course he doesn't know I take it, who goes around advertising what medications they take?

He nods his head and stares down at his lap, appearing to be in deep thought.

"Yeah well during finals week at school they can sell for a lot. I've made decent money off of them," I blurt out before I realize what I'm saying.

_What the fuck? Not one word of that sentence is true. Why the fuck did I just tell him that?_

Remember when I said I tend to lie? About even the most inconsequential things? Here you go. My mouth is working faster than my brain can stop it at this point.

He frowns at me. "So you don't take the medication?"

"No, no, I do, I just sell the extra from the few times I don't take it."

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. I need to stop making up shit right now. Why the fuck am I lying to him? That medication is like my lifeblood, I can't function without it. So why am I telling him I sell it? Or that I don't take it?_

I've been doing this for longer than I can even remember. Most of the time I derive absolutely no benefit from the lie, but I feel like I need to anyway. And the lies always snowball. Always.

Good thing I've never been caught. Well… almost never.

Thankfully Jasper takes the Biology project handout and starts reading over it, but not before eyeing my medication one last time.

_I wonder if he thinks I'm weird because I take medication…_

"Hey Jasper?" I ask nervously.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think, I mean…" I can't even finish the sentence. I'm too afraid of what his answer might be. "Does it bother you that I take medication?"

"What? No, of course not," he tells me as he looks at me with a rather confused face. "What makes you think that?"

"Nothing, just curious," I lie. Something about the way he keeps eyeing the bottle isn't sitting right with me, but I drop it and get out my own project handout.

Five minutes into reading it occurs to me that I'm being an absolutely terrible host.

"Um, Jasper? Do you want anything to drink?

"Sure, water would be great," he tells me without looking up from the piece of paper.

I go downstairs to get a couple of bottles of water from the fridge when I hear my dad ask "So, are you boys getting any work done up there?"

My natural reaction to his voice is to get pissed the fuck off, but I do my best to sound like a civil human being.

"Yes."

I'm so classy it's scary sometimes, I know.

He goes on to ask more things that I absolutely could not care less about, and after about three one word answers I'm heading back up to my room.

I enter to see Jasper fiddling with his phone and looking at the ground. His phone reminds me of the conversation we had on Wednesday, when he said he'd talk about "it" when he came here.

"Hey Jasper. What did you want to talk to me about? You said at school that you would talk to me about it here."

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat while I move to sit on my bed. "It's nothing really. Let's talk about the project, I've got some pretty good ideas on what we can do."

I'm not convinced. "Are you sure?"

He shifts again. I know my chair isn't that uncomfortable. And then it hits me like, well, something that hits you.

_Jasper is sitting in my chair. In my room. Just a few feet away from my bed._

My face begins to turn red, and apparently it's really fucking obvious because the next thing I know I feel Jasper's hand on my shoulder again along with that stupid electricity.

"Edward, what's wrong? Are you alright?" he asks, concern written all over his face. Except, he's not looking into my eyes like he always does. He seems to be looking slightly under them.

"Um, yeah, sorry. I know we haven't really gotten much done yet but do you wanna get some lunch now?" I ask, hoping to get rid of the tension building between us.

"Oh, actually my mom called while you were downstairs. She needs my help with something at home. I tried to tell her that this was important but she said that whatever she needed was more important, so, um, sorry." He looks guilty, and now I understand that his guilt is coming from having to leave so soon. I may or may not have internally squealed at the thought that he feels guilty for leaving _me._

"Oh, it's fine Jasper," I respond, visibly relaxing now that I know the source of his unease. "The project isn't due for a while. I'll see you in class then?"

He moves his hand off my shoulder and it just now hits me that it's been there the whole time. "Yeah, I'll see you then." He smiles, but it doesn't seem like a genuine smile. I return his fake smile with my own.

As he moves to leave my room, I stop him.

"Jasper, you don't have to feel guilty about it."

"Guilty about what?" he says, louder than usual. He seems defensive, and I can't understand why he feels this way over leaving early.

"About leaving so soon. I understand," I tell him as I try to offer a look of actual compassion. Man, I suck at emotions that don't involve negativity.

He relaxes as he understands what I'm referring to.

I walk with him to my front door and tell him I'll send him a text if I make any progress on the project. He tells me the same and the next thing I know he's in his truck driving back home.

He didn't look me in the eyes once.

As I turn to go back to my room, I hear the irritating voice only my dad can create.

"Was the project really that short?"

"No, he had some family issue to attend to," I respond, not wanting to get into a conversation with him at the moment.

But then again, I never want to get into a conversation with him.

As I go back upstairs I stare at the project handout and realize that I was kidding myself by thinking I was even going to attempt to work on this thing.

I lay down on my bed and decide to just let myself think for a bit.

_I need to tell him the truth about my medication. It's insignificant, sure, but I still lied to him. When there was absolutely no reason to fucking lie in the first place!_

Even after years of trying to figure out where this behavior comes from, I can't figure it out and I can't stop myself from lying.

I angrily look over at my medication bottle, the source of all of my current frustrations, and notice that my eyes have to wander my desk for a bit to find it. I find it sitting on the edge of my desk.

Which is odd, because I have a special little place for it in the middle of my desk so I don't forget to take it in the morning.

I get up and look at the medication bottle, trying to figure out when I moved it.

Wait.

Hold on.

Did Jasper…?

I sit down at my desk and stare at the bottle, trying to comprehend the mess of emotions in my head.

_He wouldn't. Jasper wouldn't take something from me. Especially not my medication. But wait. If my theory about his financial situation is correct, then he could have, considering I lied and told him that I was able to sell these. But it's Jasper… he would never do something like that to me. Then again… was that guilty face really because he was leaving early? And the fact that he wouldn't look me in the eyes…_

I try to convince myself that he wouldn't do something like that, that he wouldn't steal from me. Once I'm almost fully convinced, I decide to count my pills just to remove any doubt.

I take two pills a day and I'm able to get a three month supply from a mail order pharmacy. It has been exactly twenty days since I opened this bottle and I never miss a day. That means I should have one hundred and forty pills left in the bottle.

I groan at the task of actually counting out that many, but I decide it's necessary to make myself stop doubting Jasper.

Half an hour later, I've counted, re-counted, and then re-re-counted. Now I'm sitting with my head in my hands, trying hard to stop the tears that are already falling.

The numbers don't add up.

There are only one hundred and twenty pills in the bottle.

I'm missing twenty pills.

The only one who had access to that bottle was Jasper.

Jasper stole from me.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: When I started this fic, my intent was to keep the entire story in Edward's point of view. But as I tried and failed to write this chapter, I realized that I couldn't write it because it needed to be told from Jasper's point of view. So it won't necessarily be a regular thing, but I'll do it when I feel like his thoughts need to be revealed. **

**P.S. – Happy New Year!**

**JPOV**

"Um, Jasper? Do you want anything to drink?" Edward asks.

I don't really want anything, but I do want him to leave the room for a few minutes. I _need_ him to leave the room.

"Sure, water would be great," I tell him, keeping my eyes on the paper in front of me. I'm afraid if I look up at him, he'll know what I'm planning to do.

Edward is the first friend I've had in a long time. I don't want to do this. I don't want to risk losing his friendship. But I don't have a fucking choice.

As he leaves to go get the water, I look back at the bottle of his ADHD medication. Vyvanse. I had heard of that before. I know for a fact that it can be sold for a pretty good amount of money. I was surprised to hear that Edward sells it, but I brushed that aside for the time being.

I reach out for the bottle, willing my hand to stop shaking. There are a lot of pills in that bottle. He won't notice a few missing will he?

I shook my head. Of course he'd notice when he went to take them and there weren't any left. But if he really doesn't take all of them, would he notice if just a few are gone?

I open the bottle and quickly count out what I think is about twenty pills. That should be enough. Closing the bottle, I put it down on the edge of the table away from me. Hopefully that won't draw any attention to it.

I hear him coming upstairs and I steel myself. I would have to face this one day. One day, Edward is going to confront me about this. One day, he's going to realize that I broke his trust and stole from him. And on that day, I'm going to lose the best friend I've ever had.

Best friend? I guess Edward did have that position now. I don't talk to many people. Those that my mother doesn't scare off leave themselves, probably because of how fucked up of a person I am. I fought back tears at the thought that what I had just done was going to be the end of my new friendship.

Edward comes back and hands me a bottle of water. I avoid looking in his eyes, but I think I see a few different emotions flash across his face before I look back at my paper.

Frustration, then confusion, suspicion, and finally, anxiety.

I don't pry, though I'm curious to know what's wrong. Fuck, why do I care? I never cared this much before. Why do I care what's wrong with him?

_Because he's your "best" friend, dipshit. Or did you forget your earlier conversation with yourself?_

Shut up, brain. No one asked you.

I look at my phone, trying to come up with an excuse to leave. I want to stay here. But I can't. Fuck, I can't even look at him right now.

"Hey Jasper. What did you want to talk to me about? You said at school that you would talk to me about it here," he asks suddenly, referencing back to our conversation on Tuesday.

I cringe internally. I had been debating telling him about my… situation all week. Remembering the reactions of my former friends to my fucked up life, I decide against telling him.

I know I'm going to lose him when he finds out that I stole from him. I don't want anything else to come between us until then.

"It's nothing really. Let's talk about the project, I've got some pretty good ideas on what we can do," I tell him, though it's obvious he's not buying it.

Fuck, now I'm lying to him about this too. It's not fucking nothing, it's my fucking fucked up life! And the project? I still don't know what it's even about. I just need to get off this topic right now.

"Are you sure?" Edward asks, his voice full of nothing but concern.

I shift in my seat, trying to think of something to say. He actually cares about me. He wants to know what's wrong, and he's not asking for anything in return. I feel like I'm going to spend the rest of my life paying for the mistake I've made today.

I look down at my phone to see a missed call from my house. I had turned my phone on silent earlier, not wanting anything to interrupt my time with Edward.

_My time with Edward? What?_

Brushing my interesting choice in words aside, I realize that I can use my pitiful excuse of a mother as my reason for having to leave early.

_Fucking woman. I should have known she would be the one to ruin this for me, just like the way she ruins everything in my life._

I look up to tell Edward that I need to leave when I see his face turning red and his gaze locked in my direction. He's not staring at me; it's almost as if he's looking right through me.

Growing worried over his sudden change in demeanor, I quickly get up and put my hand on his shoulder, ignoring the rush of electricity I feel whenever I make any kind of physical contact with him.

"Edward, what's wrong? Are you alright?" I ask him anxiously, though I still can't bring myself to look into his eyes. I do the best I can, and end up looking just under them.

He seems to snap back into reality. "Um, yeah, sorry. I know we haven't really gotten much done yet but do you wanna get some lunch now?"

Fuck, I forgot we were supposed to eat. His voice sounds almost hopeful as he asks me, and it takes every ounce of self control I have to resist going with him.

"Oh, actually my mom called while you were downstairs. She needs my help with something at home. I tried to tell her that this was important but she said that whatever she needed was more important, so, um, sorry," I told him. I saw his face visibly fall and I fucking hate myself for putting that expression there.

I look at the floor, not willing to look at him. I know I probably look guilty right now, and I am. Guilty of lying to Edward. Guilty of stealing from Edward. He has been willing to be my friend since I met him and never asked for anything in return. And here I am taking advantage of his friendship like the piece of shit I am.

"Oh, it's fine Jasper," he says, although I can tell I hurt him by turning him down. "The project isn't due for a while, I'll see you in class then?"

Shit. It didn't even occur to me that I would be seeing Edward every single day in school. How am I supposed to face him like nothing's wrong? I don't know. I don't fucking know what else I'm supposed to do.

Realizing my hand is still on his shoulder, I quickly pull it back. "Yeah, I'll see you then," I tell him, giving him my best attempt at a smile. He smiles back at me, but it's different from the way he usually smiles at me. I can't figure out how it's different, but I let it go. I need to get out of here.

As I pick up my backpack and turn to leave the room, I hear Edward say "Jasper, you don't have to feel guilty about it."

I freeze. Damnit. He knows. He knows what I did. He knows that I stole from him.

"Guilty about what?" I practically yell, knowing that I'm practically giving myself away by acting this defensive.

"About leaving so soon, I understand," he tells me, a look of genuine compassion crossing his face.

I didn't think it was possible for m to feel any worse about what I'm doing than I already do, but the sheer amount of compassion visible on his face right now proves me wrong.

As we make our way to the door, he tells me that he'll let me know if he makes any progress on the project and I tell him the same.

I get in my truck and drive down the road, turning at the corner. Once I'm out of sight of his house, I cut the engine and just sit there on the side of the road.

And I can't hold it in anymore.

I slam my hand against the steering wheel and feel the tears that had threatened to fall at Edward's house now falling freely.

I didn't want to steal from him. I didn't want to lie to him. I want nothing more than to be as good a friend to him as he is to me.

With that train of thought, I allow myself to think more about what Edward means to me. Yeah, we're friends. _For now._ But I've never felt this way about any of the friends I've had before.

I don't like labels. I never did. Straight, gay, lesbian, bi, does it matter? You like who you like, it's as simple as that.

I had been with a few girls before, never with a guy. It's not that the concept of being with a guy repulses me. I've just never felt that way about a guy. Maybe it's because girls were always coming on to me for whatever reason.

The realization that I might be falling for my best friend hit me hard.

_Fuck, Jasper. How can you even think like that? You lied to him, you fucking stole from him. You're lucky he even wants to be your friend. You're not worth having as a friend. And now you think you're falling for him? You don't fucking deserve to be in love._

After crying for the better part of an hour, I decide it's time to go home and face the bitch that put me in this situation to begin with. I don't cry, and I refuse to let myself cry anymore.

I pull up to the shithole I'm forced to call my house and kick the door open. The lock doesn't fucking work anyway.

I live in the shittiest part of this god damn town. When I told Edward how close I live to him, I was afraid for a moment that he might guess that I live here. It's not something I go around telling people with pride.

I find my mother sitting on the couch drinking her precious alcohol, as usual.

"There you are ya worthless shit," she sneers at me. "So have you figured out how you're gonna be payin the bills? I sure as hell ain't got the money and you need to start making yourself useful around here."

I fucking hate this woman. She goes and spends all of her money on booze and then yells at me to pay the bills. I don't have a job and I don't have anywhere else to live. If I had either I'd be out of here in a heartbeat.

On top of all of that, she's still my mother. I felt almost obligated to take care of her, regardless of how she treats me.

"I'll take care of the fucking bills, just go back to whatever you're doing," I said quietly as I made my way to the shithole I call my room.

"Finally ya found a way to make all those years of hard work up to me! When you're done paying those bills, make sure you give me the money you got left over, I got things I need to buy."

I would like nothing more than to tell her to fuck off. I want to tell her how she has ruined my life, and how she's still ruining it. I want to tell her that she's costing me the person that I'm falling for.

But I don't. She doesn't care. She never has.

I go to my room and pull out a bag to place the pills in. Seeing them lying on my bed, the entirety of today's events come crashing back into me. I lay down on my head and try to hold back the tears, but I can't. They flow freely and nothing can stop them.

I take out my phone and pull up Edward's contact information. I want to call him so badly right now it hurts. I want to pour out all of my feelings and emotions and for him to hold me in his arms and tell me that it's all going to be okay.

I want him to tell me that I'll find a way out of this, and that he'll be there for me. I want to kiss him and pour all of my love into the kiss so he can feel exactly what it is that I'm feeling.

Love? I had never really been "in love" before, but I had never felt anything like what I'm feeling right now.

_Yeah, as if he wants you back. As far as I know, he's straight. And even if he was interested in men, why the fuck would he want me? I'm a worthless piece of shit that doesn't deserve any part of him, least of all his love._

I look at his name in my phone one last time. Shoving all of my emotions aside, I scroll down my contacts list to find James.

To be blunt, James is a hardcore drug dealer. He has contacts like nobody I've ever known. He was one of the first people I'd met when I moved here.

I hate him. I hate him as much as I hate my mother. But I need him to set me up with some potential buyers. I know twenty pills isn't a lot to sell through a dealer, but this shit is always in high demand.

I speak to James briefly, and he quickly sets me up with some potential buyers. I would be meeting them on Wednesday. I thank him and shut off my phone.

I hate that I'm doing this. I hate every part of it. But I don't have a choice. I need the money.

I contemplate doing something productive with the rest of the day, but I can't. I'm exhausted and my thoughts constantly drift back to Edward

I put my phone on the bed next to me and try to go to sleep. Just as I feel like I'm starting to drift, the vibrating of my phone shocks me wide awake.

I look at my phone to see a message from the last person I had been expecting to talk to right now.

"**Jas? –Edward"**

I hate when people give me nicknames. "Jas" always gets on my nerves the most because it sounds like "jazz." That just bothers me.

But when Edward calls me Jas, I absolutely love it. I don't know why. He has this strange power over me that I can't even begin to describe. I wonder again if this is what love is.

I text him back, not knowing what he wanted.

"**What's up? –Jasper"**

I vaguely remember him telling me that he would send me a message if he had made any progress on the project, so I assume that's what he wants to tell me.

I am not, however, prepared for the message I get back from him.

"**Why wouldn't you talk to me about what was wrong? Do you not trust me? I'm sorry if I did something to make you not trust me, but I want you to know that I'm here if you ever need to talk and I'll try to do what I can to help you out. I mean, I don't know if you need help but if you do… -Edward"**

I chuckle quietly. He rambles when he's nervous, and it was almost… cute to see that he does it in his text messages as well.

Then the realization of what he had just told me hits me hard and breaks me out of my musings.

_Shit. What the fuck have I done?_

"**Edward, of course I trust you. It's just really not something I want to talk about, but thank you for the offer. –Jasper"**

There's so much more I want to say to him, so much I want to confess to him. But I can't. I don't deserve to have someone so wonderful care so much about me. And after I stole from him, I can't even bring myself to look him in the eyes.

"**Alright Jas. I trust you too. –Edward"**

And the tears I thought I had finished shedding are renewed once more. I don't deserve him. He deserves so much better than me. He trusts me. He cares about me. And all I do it take advantage of him.

I try to type out a reply but I can't. What the fuck would I even say to him? I have nothing to say.

My phone stays open on the reply screen while I drift off into a less than peaceful slumber.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: This will be a long author's note, so feel free to skip the bolded section to move on to the story.**

**First, I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed my fic so far, it truly means a lot to see that someone cares enough to let me know what they think of my work. On that note, I do not respond to reviews under any circumstance. The reason for this is simply based on principle. When someone reviews my work, I want them to review it honestly and without any thought to the response they will get from me. All reviews, both positive and negative, help me as a writer as long as they're constructive.**

**If you guys actually do have any questions regarding something I've written or actually do need a response from me, then by all means feel free to send me a message. It's only reviews that I do not reply to; I will most definitely reply to any messages I get.**

**Regarding the story, this isn't one that is going to end in just a few more chapters. I hope to take you on a journey with these boys as they learn about life, love, and the world in which they live. They're going to have problems. Their problems are going to have problems. And they're going to face them one after another until the end. So be prepared for a **_**very**_**bumpy ride. Hopefully it'll all be worth it in the end.**

**Finally, keep up the reviews guys! Whenever I'm having trouble with my motivation, the positive reviews I get help me get through the next chapter I'm working on.**

**EPOV**

I look at my phone as I send Jasper the text message telling him that I trust him.

I want to. I want to trust him. But after what he did, how can I?

I stare at my phone a while longer. I'm desperately hoping that he tells me the truth. I want him to tell me what he did and to apologize.

More than anything, I want him to want me. I can't even bring myself to be mad at him because I… guess I like him a lot more than I thought I did. Instead of being angry at him, I find myself wanting to know what caused him to do it. I want to help him get over it so that he never has to resort to doing this again.

I can't make him out to be the bad guy in this situation. I can't bring myself to think that he stole from me just because he wanted the medication for himself. I fully believe that something forced him to this, and until I'm proven otherwise, that's what I'll maintain.

About half an hour after sending the message, I realize that I'm not going to be getting a response from Jasper so I lay down on my bed, allowing myself to drift off.

The entire weekend is spent lounging around doing absolutely nothing productive, and now I find myself sitting up in bed on Monday morning.

I'm not sure how I'm going to face Jasper today. I don't know what to say to him.

I go through the motions of my morning routine and don't even bother to say anything to my parents as I walk out the door.

As I pull up to the school parking lot, I almost expect Jasper to be here somewhere. Not caring enough to look around, I walk into the building and head for the classroom.

It's only about 7:30, and I figure that no one will be in the classroom. Naturally, the giant bear-man proves me wrong.

"Eddie! How've ya been?" Emmer roars as he moves to hug me.

What the fuck. Why is he hugging me? Don't get me wrong, I love hugs and I don't really get many, but this just came out of nowhere.

"Um, hey Emmett," I stammer out, hoping he doesn't see me blushing. I see that no one else is in the classroom, and I wonder if I should talk to Emmett about what's going on.

Realizing that I need to talk to someone before I drive myself insane, I decide to.

"Hey, can I talk to you about something?" I ask, wondering again if this is a good idea.

His face instantly turns serious and he asks what's up.

I figure it's best to keep most of the details to myself, not wanting to reveal anything about Jasper's situation (or what I thought of it) or even that the person that I'm talking about is Jasper.

"Well, I have this friend…" I begin, not knowing how to tell him the story without revealing any of the details. "I guess long story short, he stole something kind of important to me and I don't know how to ask him about it."

Emmett continues to stare at me expectantly. "Ya gotta give me more than that Eddie." I feel like he can tell I was trying to protect someone.

"Well…" I go on to explain that I take ADHD medication, and that I lied about what I did with it, and everything. I don't know why, but Emmett seemed to be so easy to talk to.

"So let me get this straight," Emmett began. "Jasper stole some of your medication and you don't know how to ask him why he did it?"

"Well, yeah but-" I just stared at him. I never once said it was Jasper. I never used his name. And without thinking I confirmed it for him. "I never said it was Jasper."

"No, but you just said 'yeah' when I asked if it was him. Besides, I knew as soon as you started talking," he answers, shooting me a grin. Why the hell is he grinning?

"How did you know?" I ask, letting my curiosity get the better of me. I know I just confirmed his suspicion again, but that doesn't matter since it was apparently obvious to him from the beginning.

"I just know shit," he grinned before his expression turned serious once again. "You need to talk to him Edward. I don't think Jasper's the kind of guy to just go around stealing stuff. Talk to him. You're never gonna get anywhere with him if you base your relationship off of lies."

I cringe slightly as he says that, remembering that I've already lied to him a few times.

Wait. What? Relationship?

"What do you mean relationship?" I blurt out a bit loudly. The few students that had entered the room during our conversation turn to look at me briefly.

Emmett grins again. He's getting on my nerves now. "Dude, you should see the way you look at him."

My face turns red now, really red. I had only told a few people that I'm gay, and no one has ever figured it out on their own. At least, no one has ever figured it out and come to talk to me about it.

"Edward, I don't care, it's no big deal, but…" Emmett says, looking completely sincere.

"But what?" I ask immediately. As much as I had loathed the very sight of Emmett before, our conversation today made me see him as a friend, and I don't want to lose him as a friend because of this.

"It's not one sided, you know," he says, his grin returning to his face.

"What?" I'm completely lost now.

"You should see the way Jasper looks at you too," he whispers, and turns around to face the board. I hadn't realized the class was full now and the prof walks in as I look up.

I'm floored. He's joking. He has to be. There's no way Jasper can possibly…

But why the fuck not? I've done nothing but be a great friend to him.

_Because you're not worth loving, Edward. You'll just ruin your friendship with him with your lies, the same way you ruin everything else. _

I zone out for the rest of the class and before I know it, it's time to go. Figures, class always goes by incredibly slow but now that I'm dreading talking to Jasper, it goes by in a second.

"Hey Emmett, can I get your number?" I ask before he gets up. I'd like to be able to talk to him about how this situation plays out.

"Coming on to me now Eddie?" he smirks, and my face turns so red I can feel it.

"No, ugh, forget it," I turn to leave before he grabs my arm.

"I'm kidding man, here," he says as he hands me his phone.

We exchange numbers and as I'm leaving I think I see Rosalie give me what looks like a compassionate smile. I didn't think that girl was anything but a vapid, shallow cheerleader. When I turn to look back at her to make sure I didn't imagine it, she had already turned back to talk to Emmett.

Fuck, he didn't tell her did he? I'll have to ask about that another time.

As I turn down the hall toward my next class, the one with Jasper, I realize that I can't do it. I know I need to talk to him and that we need to settle this, but I can't bring myself to sit next to him in a classroom and pretend like nothing is wrong.

Against my better judgment, I decide to skip class. I can't go to work early without my parents knowing and I can't go home for the same reason, so I find an area with some chairs and just sit down. At 9:01 I feel my phone vibrate.

"**Hey, where are you? Class is starting. –Jasper"**

I smile a little as I realize that he cares enough to text me just as class starts.

As I move to hit the reply button, I see someone come and sit down at my table. I look up to see Rosalie.

"Um, hey Rosalie," I say slowly as she continues to stare at me. I'm getting slightly annoyed at the way she's just sitting there not saying anything.

"Edward, I know we haven't really talked at all, but I just want you to know that I'm there for you just like Em is," she tells me as if we're supposed to be comfortable around each other or something.

I get a little angry at the thought that Emmett actually did tell her what happened. "How much did he tell you?" I ask, wanting to know just how much to yell at him later.

"Em didn't tell me anything," she says with a slightly confused look on her face. "I was there for most of the conversation. You didn't see me?

Shit, I had no idea she was there. I guess I wasn't paying much attention to anything once I started talking.

"Oh," is my brilliant reply.

"Don't worry, no one else was there. I got here early to talk to Em, but when I came in he just waved me over. I could tell that whatever you guys were talking about was important."

I look directly into her eyes this time. I realized that I had never actually looked at her before, and just as I thought, she truly is beautiful. Emmett's a lucky guy if her personality is anywhere near as amazing as her outward appearance.

"Em's right though," she continues, still looking at me with nothing but compassion. "From what I can gather, Jasper does care about you. And I never would have thought of him as the type of guy to be mean just because he feels like it."

"Wait, you know him?" I ask, ignoring everything else she says for the time being.

"Yup. I met him when…" she trails off, suddenly looking away.

"When?" I implore.

"Just at some place. I don't really remember," she says quickly, and it's almost too obvious that she's trying to hide something.

"Anyway Edward," she continues. "You need to talk to him. You have class with him right now don't you? Why aren't you there?"

Before I'm able to answer her, my phone vibrates again. I look at it to see another text from Jasper.

"**Edward? I'm getting worried. –Jasper"**

I can't help but smile a little to see that he's worried about me. But then I remember where we stand right now and the smile disappears as quickly as it appeared.

"Is that him?" Rosalie asks, interrupting my thought process.

"Yeah, he wants to know why I'm not in class," I tell her. For whatever reason, she seems just as easy to talk to as Emmett. No wonder they get along so well.

I forget all about Jasper's message and I fall into easy conversation with Rosalie, clarifying certain points for her as I explain the parts of the conversation she missed.

"So you really like him, huh?" she asks with a grin, and I can't help but return it.

"Yeah I guess I do. Emmett seems to think he feels the same way about me, but I don't really believe that." I explain, my grin now turning into a slight frown.

"Well how about this, why don't you guys come on a double date with me and Em sometime?"

_I'm sorry, what? A date? With Jasper? Does she not understand the concept of "I don't think he's interested in me like that?" What would this accomplish?_

Sensing my confusion, Rosalie quickly adds "Well it doesn't have to be a date, it can just be four friends hanging out. Maybe I can try to get a read on him too."

This is a very interesting offer. I'd have to talk to Jasper first though. Everything seems to get put on hold until this current… issue is resolved.

"I'll think about it Rosalie, thanks. But I need to make sure that we resolve our current situation before we move any further."

"I understand, Edward," she says as she hands me her phone. "Just let us know when you're ready."

I take her phone and we exchange numbers. She tells me that she has to head out and I'm left alone with my thoughts. I'm still finding it hard to believe that I seem to have made two friends in one day. This is some kind of record for me.

I truly am thankful for the level of compassion and understanding that both Emmett and Rosalie have offered me today. And Rosalie's offer is definitely something I'll consider. I'll also have to remember to ask Emmett just how close he and Rosalie were, considering she had just talked about the two of them going out on a date.

My phone vibrates again and I remember that I haven't replied to either one of Jasper's texts.

"**Edward I'm coming over to your house if you don't respond. –Jasper"**

Instead of feeling all warm and fuzzy like I normally would upon reading a message like this, I start to get just a little bit angry. How dare he worry about me after completely betraying my trust?

I begin to type out my reply to him.

"**Jasper, we need to talk. I'll meet you after class. –Edward"**

I really have no idea how this conversation is going to go. If I think about it, I really should cool off and make sense of my emotions before I confront him. But all I've done up to this point is think, and that hasn't gotten me anywhere.

I stand at the end of the hall and notice a few glances from classmates I recognize. They're probably wondering where I was. I don't care about them though.

The one I do care about is now leaving the classroom, uncharacteristically I might add. He's usually the first one out the door.

He looks up and for the first time in days, he looks straight into my eyes.

I have to stifle a gasp at what I see.

His eyes are full of emotion. Anxiety, fear, guilt, sadness, and one I can't really place. I haven't seen the last one before and I can't figure out what else he could be feeling right now. I can tell he hasn't been sleeping well, from the dark circles under his eyes to the tired expression he wears.

Instead of stopping where I stand, he walks past me, only briefly turning around and motioning for me to follow him.

I follow him wordlessly, not willing to be as assertive now because of the look on his face. This conversation will happen, but I want it to be on terms he's comfortable with.

We get into the parking lot and he walks toward his truck. He opens the door and gets in, then looks at me then back to the passenger seat. I walk over to his truck and get in.

As he starts the truck and pulls out of the parking lot, I can't keep quiet any longer. "Where are we going?"

"Nowhere," he answers. When I look at him for more, he sighs and says "Just driving around. It calms me down."

Accepting his answer, I look out the window and try to figure out how to proceed from here.

"I'm sorry," I hear him say quietly, and I see tears starting to run down his face.

"Jasper why are you crying?" I ask, all thoughts of anger gone. Before I realize what I'm doing, I reach out to wipe the tears from his face. He doesn't seem to mind that I'm touching him, so I don't move my hand away too quickly.

He pulls into the parking lot of some store and cuts the engine.

"I'm so fucking sorry," he tells me again, and this time breaks out sobbing.

Again without thinking, I reach over the center console and pull him into an awkward hug, letting him cry it out. I want nothing more than to comfort him until he stops, but I think I know why he's crying and I can't get distracted from the original reason I agreed to come with him.

After a few minutes, he pushes me away and sits up. It hurt a little, but I continue to remind myself why I'm here.

He looks at me, this time with an expression of anger on his face. "You fucking know why," he says before looking away again.

"Tell me."

I know I'm pushing him, but I need to, for both of our sakes. I need to hear it from him.

"I fucking stole your god damn Vyvanse. Are you fucking happy?" he practically yells at me. I wince a little and he notices.

"No, shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I'm just-"

I cut him off. "Tell me why."

He looks me again and his eyes are pleading with me. Pleading with me to drop the subject and to not ask him why. But I need to know.

"Tell me," I repeat.

"No Edward…" I can tell he's exhausted and can't deal with this right now. But I have to force myself to keep going. He's not being fair to me.

"Why the fuck not?" I yell, finally losing my temper. "You fucking stole medication that I _need_ and you won't fucking tell me why?"

He looks at me, visibly hurt but also a little confused. "You said you sold them when you didn't need them so I thought…"

This time it's my turn to look away. I know I should tell him that I lied, but I can't. This isn't about me right now anyway.

"Edward, tell me why you did it," I look at him once more, effectively ignoring his previous comment.

"I… I needed…" he stammers. I wait patiently for the reason, silently praying that I'm right about him needing it for a valid reason.

"My mom, she…" before he could go any further, he started crying once more, and this time I didn't make a move to comfort him. Out of the corner of my eyes I think I see him reaching for me. I dismiss it as my mind playing tricks on me and continue looking out the window, waiting for him to continue.

"I needed money… for bills… my mom told me I needed… to be useful… and I don't… have any other way… to make money… I'm so fuckin sorry," he says between sobs.

This time, I do reach over and hold him tight as he calms himself down. I can't help but notice the way this feels. He feels so… helpless here. His cockiness is gone and is replaced by vulnerability.

But even more than that, I love the feeling of being able to hold him like this. I want to be there for him when he cries, to make whatever is bothering him go away. And I hate that I can't do that right now.

He continues to apologize as I hold him there, and I start to feel tears form in my own eyes. He brought this on himself, but I can't help but feel bad that he's crying because of me.

When he's done, he sits back up and takes several deep breaths. When he looks at me, his sincerity is evident.

"I'm sorry, Edward. Here," he says as he pulls a bag of pills out of the back of his truck and gives them to me. I don't count them as I take them; I trust him now. "I'll find another way to get the money."

"Why didn't you tell me you needed money Jas?" I ask, hoping the use of my nickname would make him realize I'm not mad. I'm not actually sure he even likes me calling him that.

He looks down at his lap and I can tell he's struggling to tell me the truth.

"I don't want people to know that I have… money issues," he explains quietly. "I try to be independent but sometimes I just don't have a choice, and then I do stupid shit like this."

I sigh loudly, taking in everything he has told me so far. "How much do you need for the bills?

"It's about four hundred total," he admits, sounding completely ashamed of himself.

_That's it?_ I think to myself, before I realize that not everyone comes from money like I do.

I pull out my wallet, thankful now that I keep more cash in it than any person really should. I pull out four one hundred dollar bills and hand them over to him.

He looks at me in complete and utter disbelief. "What the fuck?"

"For your bills," I say quietly.

"Fuck that!" he practically yells as he slaps my hand away. "Edward I'm fuckin sorry and I'd rather be behind on the bills than have you hand me money then walk away."

Walk away? I have no idea what he's going on about. His reaction suggests that something else is going on here, but I ignore it for now.

"What are you talking about Jasper?" I ask, cocking my head at him. "I'm not going anywhere. I forgive you, Jas. I just want to help you out."

He looks at me like I just sprouted wings. "W-What?" he manages to stammer out.

I keep looking at him, waiting for him to continue. I really have no idea what he's so frustrated about.

"You f-forgive me? That easily? Edward I s-stole from you!"

"I know, Jasper," I sigh. "But you did it because you felt like you didn't have any other choice. And when I confronted you about it, you told me the truth and returned the pills. I'm giving you this money because you need it and I don't. Think of it as a loan if you really want to pay me back. I don't really want it back but if you feel the need to you can pay me back whenever you have the money. I'm not walking away from you Jasper. I just want to help you. There's no harm in asking for help when you need it. It doesn't make you any less of a man."

I hand the money to him again, making it clear I'm not taking no for an answer. As he slowly reaches out to take it, tears start forming in his eyes again.

"No more crying Jas, I don't like seeing you cry," I whisper as he takes the money and stares at it.

"I don't… I… thank you so much Edward. I promise I'll pay you back as soon as I can. Thank you for giving me a second chance."

He puts the money away and starts the truck. As he drives us back to the school parking lot, he keeps his hand on the gear shift in the center console. While looking out the window, I didn't realize that I had put my hand over his. He didn't move his hand when I put it there, and I don't move my hand now.

We drive in silence, but it's a comfortable silence. And with my hand on his, I feel like I've finally found where I belong.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I own nothing.**

**EPOV**

As we reach the parking lot, I start to get a little anxious at the thought of losing my physical contact with Jasper. I look over to where my hand is on his and I don't think anything has ever felt so right before.

I thought I saw Jasper look over at where our hands are a few times. At this point I'm going to assume he's not moving his hand because he's too distracted by today's events. After all, what straight guy would let another guy put their hand over his?

_But what if he's not straight?_

That thought keeps running through my head. I decide to call Rosalie later and take her up on her offer. I need to know for sure.

I'm snapped back to reality when I feel my hand jerk forward. I look to see Edward shifting into park and I quickly move my hand off of his, my face turning slightly red.

I open the door to get out and Edward does the same. I look at him questioningly as he shrugs.

"Thought I'd walk you back to your car," he says, looking toward the school.

"Oh, alright," I tell him, walking around the car to him. I'm tempted to hold his hand as we walk there and it takes every ounce of self control I have to keep my hands to myself.

We start the walk to my car, which is at least a two minute walk away. I'm actually grateful that he decided to park at the back of the parking lot.

The silence is awkward, not comfortable like it was earlier. I try to come up with something to say when Jasper says "Edward, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, anything."

He runs his hand through his hair and continues to look away from me. He still doesn't say anything and by the time we get to my car it doesn't seem like it's going to.

"What's up Jasper?" I ask, getting a little anxious now.

"No it's nothing. Thanks again for the money, it means more than I can even tell you. See you tomorrow?" He finally looks at me and I see that same emotion that I still can't identify.

"Um, okay I'll see you tomorrow."

I get in my car and watch as he walks back to his truck. Somehow, I'm even more confused now than I was this morning.

I sigh and try to get all of the confusion out of my head as I drive to work. It's going to be a long day.

And a long day it was. I have never seen so many incompetent nurses in my life. The fact that I can do their jobs better than they can without a background in medicine is just ridiculous.

I walk into my house and as usual, my family is there doing nothing useful, just waiting to ambush me.

"Hello Edward," my dad says warmly. It makes me sick.

"Hi," I say quickly and rush up the stairs before anyone else has a chance to talk to me.

I toss my scrubs aside and pull my phone out. I plan to call Rosalie and talk about her "double date" idea. I quickly grow excited at the thought that I now had a friend to talk about guys with. Well technically, one specific guy.

"Hey Edward! How'd it go?" I hear Rosalie practically yell over the phone.

We talk about what happened today and then end up talking about nothing in particular. Three hours later we've agreed upon this coming Saturday for our double-date-slash-hang-out-thing. All that's left is to ask Jasper; Rose said that Emmett would agree to go.

I looked at my phone and pulled up Jasper's contact information.

_Why am I nervous about calling him? Everything should be fine between us now and he's still my friend. So why do my nerves keep getting worse?_

I decide to just text him.

"**Hey Jas, would you want to go with me, Emmett and my friend Rosalie to dinner on Saturday? –Edward"**

I sit at my desk and anxiously await his response. I don't have to wait long.

"**Sure. Rosalie as in Rosalie Hale? –Jasper"**

So he and Rosalie do know each other.

"**Yeah, why? -Edward"**

To say that I'm interested in his response is an understatement. I really want to know how these two know each other.

"**We've met before. If you have her number, can you send it to me? –Jasper"**

I felt my heart drop slightly. Could he be asking for her number because he's interested in her? I could lie and tell him I don't have her number. But Rose knows how I feel about him and she wouldn't do anything to hurt me like that. Right? I don't know.

I decide to see if I can get some more answers first.

"**What do you need it for? –Edward"**

That isn't too suspicious is it? It's perfectly normal to ask why your friend is asking for another friend's number. His response comes quickly.

"**Just to talk and see what's up. We haven't seen each other in a while. –Jasper"**

A part of me really wishes that I had pushed Rose to tell me where she knew Jasper from during our conversation at school. I can't possibly say no now, considering his more than reasonable answer.

I send it to him and don't expect a response back. I set my phone on my bed and start to work on some of the homework I'd finally been assigned today.

After a couple hours I decide to call it a night. I pick up my phone to see a text from Jasper that I had missed an hour ago.

"**Can I pick you up when we go on Saturday? –Jasper"**

I think my heart starts doing backflips or something. He wants to pick me up when we go. He didn't ask if I needed a ride, he actually asked if he _could_ pick me up. I can't help the stupid smile that takes over my face.

"**Sure, thanks. –Edward"**

I fight the urge to send him a smiley face with that message. I'm still more than a little confused about his feelings toward me or anyone else for that matter.

"**Alright, cool. –Jasper"**

_Well that was a less than enthusiastic reply._

I brush it off and go to bed with that stupid smile still on my face.

The next morning I'm the one hugging Emmett.

"Whoa man what's this for?" he asks as I let go of him.

"For your advice yesterday. Everything's good between me and Jasper now," I tell him, a slight blush creeping up on my face.

"Just like I knew it would be! I told ya I knew shit," he said, taking his seat in front of me.

I roll my eyes but grin along with him.

In true Jasper style, he makes his appearance at 8:00 on the dot. As I turn to give him the most genuine smile I think anyone has ever put on my face, I can immediately see that something is very wrong.

Jasper gives me a blank look and walks over to take his seat next to me.

"Hey Jas," I say, hoping I'll get some kind of reaction from him.

"Hey," he returns, not even bothering to look at me.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah."

"Jas tell me what's wrong," I whisper as I put my hand on his shoulder. He instantly jerks out of my touch and pushes my hand away with his own.

He turns to look at me with pure anger in his eyes but relaxes a little when he sees the hurt expression on my own face.

"Shit, sorry Eddie. I didn't mean to…" he ran his hand through his hair and turned to look back at the board, not bothering to finish his sentence.

He's my friend. Nothing more, nothing less. So why did his simple frustrated act make me want to burst into tears?

I keep my hands in my lap for the rest of the class and keep my eyes on the blank sheet of paper in front of me. I couldn't even make myself take notes.

As the prof dismisses us from class I get up to leave without even looking at Jasper. I don't feel like I could handle another look of pure hatred from him. What the fuck did I even do?

"Edward, wait," I hear him say behind me. I don't care enough to stop though. What could he possibly want from me now?

"Edward wait!" he says louder. It sounds like he's running behind me but it doesn't matter. I don't stop.

"Please," he begs, and the desperation in his voice is evident. I can't ignore him now even if I want to.

"What?" I ask as I turn around, keeping my eyes on the floor. I can't bear to see him give me that look again.

"Eddie I'm sorry, I'm just frustrated about some stuff and I took it out on you, I'm sorry. Edward please look at me."

Something about the way he says "please" makes me unable to do otherwise. I look up into his eyes and notice that their bright blue color is gone, replaced with a dull gray. I can tell that he's being sincere though.

"Tell me what's wrong," I whisper. I need to know what's bothering him.

Now it's his turn to look away. "It's no big deal, I'll handle it. I'll be fine." I don't believe him. Not at all.

"Look at me Jas."

When he can't, I know he's lying to me.

Realizing that I'm not going to get anywhere with him right now, I decide to just leave it alone. I sigh and turn to walk away when I feel a jolt of electricity go through my shoulder.

"Edward, please-" I cut him off, not wanting to hear anymore of him beating around the bush.

I move his hand off of my shoulder before saying anything, since I can't think when any part of him is in contact with me. His expression shows much more hurt than it should at my action.

"It's alright Jasper. If you say it's fine then it's fine."

"Why did you call me Jasper?" He asks, still wearing that hurt expression I wish I could get rid of. But I guess I'm the one that put it there again.

"That's your name isn't it?" I ask somewhat sarcastically. What the hell kind of question is that?

"But you always call me Jas now… anyway I guess I'll see you later then." He leaves before I can get another word in.

If I thought I didn't know what to think earlier, then I really don't know what to think now.

Well, at least I know he likes when I call him "Jas." That thought may or may not have made me squeal. Just a little.

I walk into my next class and wait. Just like before I pay absolutely no attention to what we're doing today and the next thing I know class is over. I fully plan to call in sick to work so I can just go home and sulk.

"Edward," I hear from behind me. I turn around to see Rosalie giving me a very serious look.

"What?" I ask, not doing a great job of hiding my irritation.

"What happened? You've been staring into space all class."

I head outside and Rose follows. We sit down at the same table we talked at yesterday and I tell her everything. I swear I'm going to have to start paying her as my psychologist soon.

"Edward, you can't blame yourself for making him feel bad. He had no right to act the way he did."

"I know," I sigh, defeated.

"Try to talk to him again later tonight, and make sure you let him know to pick you up at seven okay?" She told me, giving me a wink as she got up to leave.

"Will do. Thanks Rose."

As I head to the parking lot, I call into the clinic and let them know I can't come in today because something school related came up.

Yeah I lied. What was I supposed to tell them, I'm sulking because this guy who is just my friend has me in a bad mood? Yeah I'm sure that would go over really well with my manager.

I send Jasper a text letting him know what time to pick me up on Saturday. I quickly sent him another one telling him that he really pissed me off today. I had to get that off my chest, and it's not like he didn't already know that.

He sends me a reply but I'm pretty hesitant to check my phone while I drive. The text is soon forgotten as I bury myself in homework that isn't due for months. Anything to distract myself.

Wednesday morning passes by rather quickly. It's 9:05 before I realize that Jasper isn't in class today. I consider sending him a message asking where he is, but then decide against it. I'm still bitter about what happened yesterday.

I ignore it and figure he's busy or something. Why should I care? It's not like he tells me what's wrong anyway.

The day passes by slowly and my thoughts constantly drift back to Jasper. I haven't even looked at my phone since I texted him yesterday. I know that if I do I'll be too tempted to send him another message. If he cares at all he'll call me or something. Right? I don't know how this works.

Thursday morning is when I start to get concerned. He's not in class today either. But I don't try to check up on him. I won't.

Friday morning I walk into class later than usual. I look up to see Emmett and Rose watching me with concerned expressions.

"What?" I asked them, not understanding what's going on.

Rosalie stared at me. "You still haven't heard from Jasper." It was a statement, not a question.

"Nope," I answered her and casually took my seat.

"Dude you can act like you don't care all you want, but it's written all over your face." Emmett kneels in front of my table to look at me. I just put my head down.

"He hasn't tried to contact you at all?" he continued, clearly not understanding that I'm not willing to talk about him right now.

Suddenly remembering that he sent me a text Tuesday night, I pull out my phone for the first time since then and look through the messages.

My eyes grow wide and tears start to run down my face uncontrollably. I drop my phone and don't move at all. I can't.

"Edward, what's wrong? Edward?" Rosalie asks, alarm evident in her voice. I can't move to respond though.

Emmett picks up the phone and passes it to Rosalie who gasps in response.

"**I'm so sorry Edward. The last thing I ever want to do it hurt you. I care about you so much more than you'll ever realize. I won't be in school for the rest of the week. I have some things to take care of, things I don't want to involve you in. I've caused you enough pain. I won't let you get hurt because of me anymore. Take care. –Jasper"**

I vaguely feel Emmett pushing me out of the classroom with Rosalie close behind. I can't move though.

Jasper cares about me. He's protecting me.

But Jasper's in trouble.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Another chapter in JPOV. I own nothing.**

**JPOV**

"It's alright Jasper. If you say it's fine then it's fine."

Hearing him call me Jasper hurt. I've grown so accustomed to hearing him call me Jas that I had to think for a moment to make sure that he was actually still talking to me.

"Why did you call me Jasper?" I ask him quietly.

"That's your name isn't it?" Edward responds.

"But you always call me Jas now… anyway I guess I'll see you later then," I tell him and leave quickly.

I head down the stairs to my truck and just sit there, lost in my own thoughts.

_He hates me. I fucked up. I fucked up and now there's nothing I can do to fix it._

I hold back the tears that threatened to fall. I'm Jasper Fucking Whitlock. I don't cry.

I drive home and realize that I still haven't called James to let him know that the deal's off. I call him and he's not too happy with that. In fact, he's so unhappy with it he tells me that I'm going to have to go and tell the buyer myself.

The second he says that I know this isn't going to end well.

I sigh and lay down, trying to figure out what to do next.

I don't remember drifting off, but my phone vibrating in my pocket wakes me up.

I look at my phone and read the message from Edward telling me what time to pick him up on Saturday. I'm a little relieved that he's still willing to associate with me when I get another message from him letting me know how much I pissed him off today.

I hang my head in shame and try to think of some way to fix this. I was a complete asshole to him earlier today. I don't know how to get him to forgive me.

After thinking for a while I realize that I don't have any idea how the meeting with the former buyers is going to go down. And I don't think that it's going to go well.

I steel myself and decide to tell Edward how I feel. Well, most of how I feel. I don't know that I'm going to be able to see him again after this, so I just let my fingers type.

"**I'm so sorry Edward. The last thing I ever want to do it hurt you. I care about you so much more than you'll ever realize. I won't be in school for the rest of the week. I have some things to take care of, things I don't want to involve you in. I've caused you enough pain. I won't let you get hurt because of me anymore. Take care. –Jasper"**

I wait for a response, but it's clear after an hour passes that I'm not going to be getting one. I wonder if he even read it.

_Why would he respond? After all I've done to hurt him, why should he even care what happens to me? He probably didn't respond because he thinks I deserve everything I'm going to get. And I do._

I drift off again. I'm sure I hear my mom stumble home in her drunken stupor at some point during the night, but I don't care enough to move. In a matter of seconds I'm out again.

I wake up at ten this morning, surprising considering how early I went to sleep yesterday. I check my phone, desperately hoping for a response from Edward, even if it's just a message asking me where I am. Nothing.

I was originally supposed to meet with the buyer today, but I managed to convince James to move the meeting until Friday.

I lounge around all day, desperately hoping for some contact from Edward. I almost cave more than once and beg him to forgive me, but I don't. I have to let him try to talk to me first. But I feel like nothing else in the world is going to give me the courage that I need.

Apparently time moves really quickly when you don't want it to.

Friday evening rolls around and it's time for me to go. I still haven't heard from Edward so I leave my phone at home. No reason to take it with me now.

I get in my truck and take the longest route possible to the meeting spot. As I get there, I see a black car parked in the otherwise abandoned parking lot.

As nervous as I am, I know I have to get this over with.

I get out of my truck and walk over to the car to see three very… intimidating looking men get out of it.

Fuck.

I think James told me that the buyer's name was Laurent. I assume that's the shortest of the three, and that the two larger men behind him are his… bodyguards? I don't even know.

"So then, Jasper is it? You got the stuff I want?" he rasped out, clearly under the influence of something.

I brace myself for what I know is coming.

"Actually, I called James and told him that I needed to cancel the deal. He told me that I needed to come meet you and tell you that personally," I told him with the most confidence I could muster.

He let out an amused laugh and I suddenly start to wonder if I've been worrying all week for nothing.

"That James, he certainly knows me well." he says, and his bodyguards take one step closer to him. "You see, he knows that I don't like it when the seller backs out of the deal. I like for them to come see me personally so I can… make sure that they know how much I really don't like it."

I'm by no means a scrawny guy. I'm built but not buff, and I can easily defend myself in a fight. These guys though… there's no way.

"And how's that?" I ask, trying to maintain my facade of confidence.

I see the first bodyguard pull out a switchblade while the second one immediately lunges at me. I narrowly avoid him and punch him the best that I can from the awkward position. He staggers slightly but then I find myself on the ground, getting kicked in the side by the other bodyguard. Laurent stood near his car smirking. I feel a sharp pain in my stomach and I'm barely able to tilt my head up enough to see that the guy with the switchblade had stabbed me.

My thoughts are filled with Edward as I drift in and out of consciousness, barely feeling the kicks that are still connecting with my body.

I vaguely hear a car pull up and see three people get out and rush towards me. The big guy takes out the two guys in a second flat. The girl picks up the knife that the guy dropped and holds it to his neck while the big guy keeps them on the ground. The third person that came out of the car is holding my body.

I don't understand what's going on. I can't keep my eyes open. I can't feel anything. All I want to do now is sleep. Just before my eyes close for the last time, I think I see Edward looking at me.

_He can't be here. How can he be here? He wouldn't come for me. He looks so sad though. I wish he didn't look so sad._

I reached my hand up to his face and that's all I remember before I drift off into the darkness.

_Am I in… bed? How did I get to bed? _

I open my eyes and try to orient myself with these strange surroundings. As my vision clears, I look around and realize that this room isn't that strange at all. This is… Edward's room.

I try to move and feel a sharp pain in my stomach. I reflexively try to put my hand over my stomach when I realize I can't move it. I look at my hand and see that a sleeping Edward is holding it in a death grip.

I look at him more closely. His brown hair falls in disarray over his face, barely hiding his face. I move his hair away a little so I can get a better look at him. He has dark circles under his eyes. Shit, I don't even know what day it is. How long has he been awake with me? He's sitting in his desk chair with his head just barely touching the bed. It looks like he was trying to give me enough space so that I wouldn't be uncomfortable. Aside from his hand on mine.

Realizing that there's no way I'm going to be able to get up right now, I put my head back down and just enjoy the closeness I have with him.

_I can't believe he came for me. After everything I did, he came to save me. He cares about me too._

I sigh loudly and I feel Edward jerk up next to me.

"Jasper? Are you okay?" he asks frantically, quickly moving his hand off my own.

"What happened?" I manage to get out. My throat is completely dry. Edward notices and hands me a water bottle. I fumble with the cap and he ends up opening it and helping me drink from it.

He puts the bottle back on his desk and just stares at me. I can tell he's been crying. A lot. I feel like an asshole again.

"I'm so sorry Jas," he whispers as his tears start falling again. "I didn't read your message until Friday morning. I should have been there for you but I…"

"Stop it Eddie," I tell him gently, taking his hand back in mine. "I'm the one who's sorry. I acted like a complete asshole to you and I can only hope you'll forgive me."

He continues to sob and when he finally quiets down I asked "What exactly happened?"

"When I read the message I kind of had a panic attack. Emmett and Rose saw the message too and rushed me out of the classroom. They asked me if I had any idea what you were talking about. I didn't know but then Rose got the idea that maybe you were in trouble with the people you were supposed to sell the pills to. I'm so sorry Jas, if I knew you would be in trouble I wouldn't have taken them back, I'm-"

"Shhh," I cut him off as he started quietly sobbing again. "It's not your fault at all. Don't even try to blame yourself."

He calms down and continues. "Rose somehow knew that the guy you spoke to was named James but she wouldn't tell us how she knew him. She called him and found out that you went to go meet the buyer. He told us where to find you so we went over there at the meeting time. By the time we got there you were…"

He put his head down and broke down crying as he tightens his grip on my hand.

"Emmett… got out of the car first and took down the two guys. Rose… followed him and picked up the… knife and threatened them with it… I couldn't even… I just had to go to you first… and then they ran away…" he tries to hide the fact that he's still ready to cry.

"Thank you," I whisper before falling back into unconsciousness.

I wake up again, this time to a dark room. I assume it's late in the day since there isn't any light coming through the window. I still feel Edward's hand holding mine and his even breathing suggests that he's sleeping.

_Shit, if I've been sleeping in his bed, has he been sleeping like this the whole time? I still don't know how long I've been here._

I can hear some murmuring outside and I try to listen to the conversation. I immediately recognize one of the voices.

"Emmett?" I manage to croak out, hoping I don't wake Edward.

The door almost immediately swings open and Emmett and Rosalie walk in.

"Look who's up," Emmett said, and even in the dark I can see him grinning at me. Rosalie walks over to the lamp on the desk and turns it on.

I look back at Edward. Even while asleep he looks exhausted. _And gorgeous._

Rose walks over to me now, a stern look on her face. "Really, Jasper? You went to James? Are you crazy or just an idiot?"

I wince at her words. She knows James even better than I do. "I didn't have a choice, Rose."

"So when do I get to find out why you two seem to know a lot more than you should about drug dealing?" Emmett asks, looking seriously between the two of us.

"I'll tell you when Eddie's up. He deserves to know too," I tell him, looking back at his sleeping figure. "How long was I out?"

"Not long, it's only Sunday night. Not like Edward had been anxiously looking forward to our double date all week or anything," comes Rose's sarcastic reply.

Just as I'm about to apologize, her choice of words stops me.

"Double… date?" I ask her, confused as to what I'm missing.

"Do you two have to be so dense?" she practically yells, throwing her hands up and leaving the room. I turn to look at Emmett now.

"Dude, you like Edward." Emmett says. A statement, not a question.

I put my head back down and sigh. "Yeah Em." Why deny it?

"He likes you to ya know." Emmett says, this time a giant grin forming on his face.

_I'm sorry, what?_

"What are you going on about?" I ask him, not allowing myself to get my hopes up. He can't possibly mean what I think he means.

"I think you know" he tells me with a wink.

_He's lying to me. Messing with me. Something. Someone like Edward can't like someone like me._

I bring myself back to reality before I lose it. "Has he been here with me the whole time?"

"Yeah, he didn't actually fall asleep until about an hour before you woke up the first time."

"So he was awake all night Friday and then all day and night Saturday?" I ask, trying to understand just how long this time period was. "And I woke him up…"

"He wanted to be awake when you got up anyway. We tried to convince him to get some sleep but he wouldn't budge. I don't think he's eaten anything either.

Feeling tears welling up, I try to change the subject. I can't believe Edward stayed with me the entire time I was out cold.

"How bad is it Em?" I ask, referring to my injuries.

"Nothing too bad" he responds with a shrug. "The stab wound didn't hit anything major, or at least that's what I gathered from the scientific discussion I didn't really understand. The doctors said you'll need at least a week of bed rest. They wanted you to stay over the weekend but Edward insisted that you come back here. None of us know where you live so we figured his house would be okay. His family is out of the country until next weekend."

My efforts to keep the subject away from Edward end up lasting all of five minutes.

"So he… Eddie… he actually likes me?" I ask quietly.

"Yes, he likes you the same way you like him. I swear everyone but you can see it," I hear Rose say as she walks back into the room. She chuckles slightly and I swear it's the first time I've ever heard her laugh before. "When I told him that you look at him the same way he looks at you, he told me I was crazy. You're both in denial. Em and I were supposed to fix that yesterday."

I look at the sleeping boy beside me. I can't believe he actually wants me. I move my hand out of his and ruffle his hair a little.

"Don't worry about school tomorrow," I hear Rose say, breaking me out of my musings. "I'll make sure to let Edward know what he missed and I'll talk to Tanya about Bio."

"Who's Tanya?" I ask her, trying to remember if I had met anyone with that name.

"She's the girl who was practically drooling all over you during the first day of class."

I continued to look at her. What is she talking about?

"Wow Jasper you are dense. Don't worry, she's just someone I know from the class. I'd wake Edward but there's no way he's going to leave your side to go to class."

"Thanks Rose. You too Em. I remember seeing you guys take out the guys who were beating me up," I tell them honestly, realizing that I hadn't thanked them yet.

"No worries, Bro," Emmet says, flexing his arms. "They were like half my size."

We all laugh quietly, making sure Edward stays asleep.

"Hey, can you guys not tell him what we talked about? I want to ask him out myself in my own way. This," I gestured over my body, "just doesn't seem right."

Rose smiles at me and says "Sure. Make sure it's special though, this boy is worth it."

Em and Rose get up to leave and promise to come back and check on us tomorrow after school.

"Oh yeah, we're still having that double date," Rose tells me as she leaves.

"What? Why?" I ask.

"Because she loves shit like this and wants to feel important," Em answers and winks at me.

I briefly hear Rose yell at Emmett for saying that before I turn back to look at the only person that matters to me right now.

I feel myself drifting off as I think of the perfect way to ask Edward to be my boyfriend.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: In response to a question I've received a few times – No, I don't have a complete outline of this story. The only part that I have down for sure is the ending. Since the beginning of this story, I've known exactly how I want it to end, and it's highly unlikely that will change. Everything else happens as I think of it ;) And this is the 10****th**** chapter! I never thought I'd have the motivation to keep writing, but all of the positive reviews you guys leave are amazing!**

**I own nothing.**

**EPOV**

Clank. Bang. And… shattering? Is that glass?

I'm startled awake in the chair I've been using as my bed for the last few days. I look around and notice that it's light out. But more importantly, I notice that I'm alone.

_Jasper didn't… he couldn't… did he leave me?_

Remembering the sounds I heard just moments ago, I rush out of my room and head downstairs. I enter the kitchen to see Jasper leaning against the counter for support while several pans and broken glass lie around his feet.

"Um, hey there," Jasper says, grinning sheepishly.

Nothing else matters at that moment when I see him smile again, the smile I thought I had lost forever.

But then in the next moment I'm reminded that he should be in bed when he groans in pain.

I grab a broom and sweep up the broken glass around him, leaving the pans for later.

"What are you doing down here Jas? You're supposed to be resting! You could've made your injuries worse! The doctors said you need bed rest…" I trail off and stop when I notice him staring at me with a huge grin on his face.

"What?" I ask, confused. I also want to know what it is that's making him smile so much so I can do it again.

_He's hurt and should be in bed. Stop thinking about pointless crap like that._

I make a mental note to… mentally yell at my brain for interrupting my happy thoughts… mentally.

"You called me Jas," he says, still staring at me.

"Yeah well that's your name isn't it?" I mutter, remembering my answer to why I didn't call him Jas last week. I'd call him Jas forever if that's what makes him happy. "I take it you like that nickname then?"

"Actually I hate it."

_Oh._

"Except when you say it. Then I love it."

_Oh. What? I don't get it._

I'm thoroughly confused now and drop the subject. I turn around and start to pick up the pans now scattered on the floor. "What are you doing down here anyway?" I ask again.

"I was hungry and didn't want to wake you, so I thought I'd come down and see if there was something to eat," he says, looking like a little boy about to get yelled at.

"You should have woken me up! That's what I'm here for," I tell him, opening the freezer to see if there is anything he'd like. It hits me then that I don't actually know what he likes to eat. "Um..." I begin.

"That pizza looks good." I jump when I realize how close behind me Jasper is standing. I can feel his warm breath on my neck, and the contrast it provides with the cold freezer air in front of me is like nothing I've ever felt before.

I put aside my own fantasies and throw the pizza in the oven. I look over to see him still leaning uncomfortably against the counter. Apparently I was so concerned about him that I forgot I should help him sit down.

I wrap my arm around his waist and move his arm over my shoulder so I can help him walk over to a chair. It's not as awkward as I thought it would be, and the fact that he's a few inches taller than me probably helps.

He whines and insists he's fine but I don't buy it. Or maybe I just want all of the physical contact I can get. Oh well, let's not dwell on my motives now.

I look at the clock and see that it's almost noon.

"Shit! School! Work! What's going on?" I turn to Jasper, who is now apparently amused by my ranting.

"Calm down," he says as he tries to get up. I promptly move to his side and push him back down, trying not to pay attention to the physical contact.

He pouts when he realizes I won't let him get up, and I'd be lying if I said it isn't the cutest thing ever.

"Rose and Em are gonna bring us the schoolwork we missed and you said your manager gave you the week off when she found out what happened," he tells me slowly, as if explaining to a small child.

"Oh," is my brilliant reply as I move to sit down across the table from Jasper. I don't even remember talking to my manager but then again, the last few days are kind of a blur.

Now that we're both awake at the same time, I need to talk to him about what happened.

"Jasper…" I hesitate, not looking at him. I only realize after I said it that I used his full name instead of his nickname, but I don't correct myself. "Tell me what happened." This time I look directly at him.

Now it's his turn to look away. I can tell he doesn't want to talk about it, but I can also tell that he knows he has to. The silence between us quickly becomes uncomfortable as I wait for him to speak up. He finally does.

"I tried to cancel the drug deal with the buyer, but James told me that I had to tell him myself," he began quietly, now looking at the floor. "I knew it wasn't going to be good and I didn't want to involve you in any more of my problems. I'm sorry." He tries to stay calm but I hear his voice crack at the end.

Satisfied with his answer, I get up and wrap my arms around his shoulders. He leans into my stomach and inhales deeply, not returning the hug but not backing away either. I start to wonder if I'm making too much physical contact for his comfort, but I decide not to stop until he tells me to.

"You can always come to me, no matter what the problem is. If you had told me what was going on, I would have given the pills back to you. They're not worth losing… you," I tell him quietly, only mouthing the last word.

"No Edward. You've already done too much for me. I have to deal with the messes I make by myself," he says defiantly, and I'm reminded of the conversation we had in his truck.

"Jas, it's okay to ask for help when you need it. I already told you, it doesn't make you any less of a man."

"But I can't just keep asking for help all the time!" He pushes me away from him, and I try to hide the hurt. After all, why should that bother me? It's not like we're together or anything.

For a brief moment Jasper looks as if he's about to reach his arms out and pull me back but he quickly drops his hands to his lap. Now I'm imagining that my fantasies are actually coming true. Great.

"I need to be able to stand on my own." He mumbles something else but I don't hear it. I don't ask, because something else I've been meaning to ask suddenly comes out.

"Jas, how does Rosalie know you? And more importantly, how does she know James?" I didn't mean to ask that question so suddenly, but it feels like now is as good a time as any.

Jasper visibly tenses up and turns his head toward me. I see a look of pure hatred in his eyes, and I can only hope it's not directed at me.

But behind the hatred I can see… sadness? I'm completely lost now so I just remain quiet.

"He's… my mom… and Rosalie… she was there too," he rambles.

"Jas, calm down, you're not forming coherent sentences," I chide, fighting the urge to giggle.

He sighs loudly. And then he sighs again. And again.

"Edward, I'm not going to talk about this."

I give him my "the-fuck-you're-not" look and he immediately grows agitated.

"My mom's a fucking mess okay? All she does is drink and do drugs. She's a worthless whore and I'm fucking messed up because of her. I was fucking taking her to her first AA meeting, which doesn't do shit for her anyway, and Rosalie was there with her good for nothing bitch of a mother too."

He's yelling now, his face turning slightly red from the anger. As much as I want nothing more than to rush over to him and comfort him, I need to let him finish his story.

"We started talking outside of the god damn meeting room and," he hesitated slightly but regained his composure. "She gave me James's contact information."

I look at him questioningly at this last piece of information.

"We're both clean, Edward. That was a long time ago. It's her fucking mother's fault she even had access to shit like that and I just, I needed something to make me forget about all the shit I was going through," he says, his anger fading. Tears start welling in his eyes, but I remain in my seat.

"I called James the next day and he set me up to buy some stuff that I needed to um, get the edge off. I sometimes stole some of my mom's stash to use or sell through James when we needed money to pay the bills. I'm sorry Edward. I'm sorry for making you deal with this and for making you deal with me. I know I'm a fucked up mess and I'm sor-"

I can't take anymore. I rush over to him and squeeze him in my embrace, not letting him finish his sentence. Tears fall from both of our eyes now and I silently curse whichever deity is responsible for making Jasper suffer so much.

"It's not your fault Jas. You didn't make the choice of living in the environment you grew up in. You did what you thought you had to do. And the man in front of me right now is a pretty damn fine one considering the circumstances," I tell him gently, not caring that I'm most likely overstepping the bounds of friendship.

I don't care though. Such things are trivial compared to the well being of my Jasper.

"You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Not many people can come out of a situation like that, and yet look at you. You're here, and you're okay. What's important is that you learn from your mistakes. What's even more important is that you learn to ask for help from the people that care about you."

I stand with my arms around him for almost ten minutes before he gently pushes me away to look up at me.

"Edward, how did I get lucky enough to find someone like you?" he asks, his eyes almost completely bloodshot now.

I chuckle and shake my head as I walk over to the fridge to get out a bottle of water. I hand it to him and he drinks from it as if he hasn't seen water in days. I unconsciously move my hand to his face and brush away the blond hair that had fallen over his face. I run my fingers through his hair a couple times before I realize what I'm doing.

I quickly move my hand away. Jasper chuckles and mutters "Thanks."

I turn around to hide my embarrassment and walk over to the fridge to get him another bottle of water. "What are friends for?" I say nonchalantly, not knowing what to say now.

_What the fuck were you thinking Edward Cullen? What guy wants you touching his hair like that? What were you thinking? Oh that's right, you weren't!_

When did my brain become my wife? I snicker at the thought and all feelings of embarrassment subside.

I go back to the table to give Jasper the new bottle of water only to find him staring intently at me. I grow slightly self conscious (okay, slightly _more_ self conscious) as I hand him the bottle.

"What?" I ask, hoping my face isn't turning as red as it feels.

He looks down and hesitates. Before I know it, he's struggling to get up. I move to stop it, but the look he gives me tells me not to. He stands up straight, and pants for a few seconds as he catches his breath.

The previous look of hesitation is gone, now replaced by a look of fierce determination that almost frightens me. I move to support him but he puts his hand up, stopping me.

"Edward," he croaks out, then stops. He clears his throat a few times, then looks at me again.

"Edward, I don't want that," he tells me. I look at the bottle in my hand and automatically assume that's what he's referring to.

"Oh, I'll just put it back then," I mutter.

He takes the bottle from my hand and puts it on the table. "No, not that," he says, sounding somewhat exasperated. "You said 'What are friends for?'"

I watch him, still unsure of where he's going with this.

"I don't want you to be my friend."

My breathing stops and all I can do is stare.

_I knew it. I knew it all along. Someone like him would never want to be friends with someone like me. I'm a fucking idiot for even thinking that. He's so… perfect and I'm just a worthless piece of shit. I knew it, and now I have to accept it._

"Emmett and Rosalie are my friends," he continues.

_As they should be. They fought off his attackers and what did I do? I just fucking rushed to his side and sat there doing fucking nothing. They're his real friends. I'm not worthy of that status. He deserves so much better than me._

I try to hide the tears and I'm not doing a great job, but Jasper doesn't seem to notice.

He runs his hand through his hair and puts the other one on the table for support. "Shit, this isn't how I planned to do this."

I want to yell at him. I want to tell him to get the hell out of my house and to never speak to me again. But I can't. I could never to that to my Jasper.

"_How I planned to do this?" He fucking planned this out? He made plans for when he told me he didn't want me in his life anymore?_

"Fuck, Edward! Why are you crying?" His tone is full of desperation and his eyes are pleading.

"You're telling me you don't… want to be friends anymore… how the fuck am I supposed to react to that?" I ask him between sobs. I tried to stop the tears but I can't. They continue to free fall down my face.

"Damn it Edward, no!" He lunges at me and hugs me in a death grip around my shoulders, whispering "no" repeatedly into my ear.

After a few moments I'm able to compose myself enough to stop crying. I don't want to leave his grasp. Nothing in my life has ever felt as right as this.

_Wait, why is Jasper doing this if he doesn't want to be my friend anymore?_

I reluctantly pull away from him, needing to understand.

I look at him and see him staring right back at me, his beautiful blue eyes full of concern. He looks like he's about to cry himself.

_But why?_

"Jasper," I begin, only to be immediately cut off.

"Edward I'm so fucking sorry, that's not what I meant at all. I just don't fucking think sometimes." He looks back at the floor then up at me.

"What did you mean then?"

"Edward, I…" he stops and takes a deep breath. "Edward, will you go out with me?"

_Erm. What?_

I'm asleep. This is all a wonderful dream and the next thing I know I'm going to wake up and Jasper will hate me.

I must have been silent for a long time because the sound of Jasper calling my name brings me out of my dazed state.

"Edward?" he repeats, looking more nervous than I've ever seen him before.

"W-what?" I manage to stammer out.

A small smile appears on his face. "Edward, will you be my boyfriend?"

I don't answer. I can't. I can't believe this perfect creature wants me as much as I want him.

Instead of verbalizing my response, I launch into his arms and he holds me tight to his chest.

And I'm home.


End file.
